Thursday, April 22, 2010

is she weird, is she white, is she promised to the night?

hey ! last night we had nothing to watch while we knitted, so christina and i watched law abiding citizen, which is known in our home as law abiding guy (christina and i always bust on tv shows as we watch them and once a commercial came on for that and she snorted and said, "law abiding... guy", which was factually the lamest diss of all time).

law abiding guy


oh my god, this movie was hilariously bad. basically the premise is that clive owen or gerard butler (whichever one it is this time) is attacked in his home, and his wife and daughter are murdered, but he's not murdered for some reason. somehow they leave no evidence, so the really EVIL murderer cuts a deal with the prosecutor to plead guilty and inform on the nice murderer. the nice murderer is sentenced to death, and the evil one is released in like 5 years for rape and murder of an adult and child?

of course gerard owen goes totally ripshit and decides he's going to be a law abiding guy (NOT) and like, kills the murderers, including one scene where he scooby doos and removes a wig and fake mustache to reveal his identity ! but that's not all ! he decides that the system failed him (because they were upholding the law and weren't sending people to jail without evidence i guess?) so he starts killing everyone in the philly government in elaborate ways, all from inside his cell ! there's even a cameo by our nerdy fucking mayor michael nutter (he did not get a speaking part, presumably cause he's such a nerd)

nutter
before entering the machine that transforms him into his sexy alter ego, mikael nuttaire


the movie is like, 1/4 the fugitive and 3/4 saw. there are barely any beautiful shots of philadelphia. oh, did i mention that later in the movie they mention that clive butler's job before he became a law abiding guy was a guy who specialized in killing people without being in the room??? that's a job, right? he makes explosive cellphones and like, stranglin' neckties and all kinds of stuff that is supposed to sound scary but sounds like mad magazine jokes.

by the way, this movie sucks. i highly recommend it.

tonight christina and i are going to that goofy knitting group. my plan is to work on my sock a little at lunch today so it looks more impressive by 6pm. it was a little harrowing last night because my work fell off my needles and i had to reposition it, but i don't think i dropped any stitches. i'm excited, i like having a weekly thing to do, even if it's associating with yarn nerds at a coffee shop !

knitting nerds


that's about it for now, though i might buy a pair of flared jeans because i'm jeansless and nothing else comes in my size/length right now. it would be like $5 to get them tailored, buttttttttt i'd never bother to do that. oh, speaking of sewing, look at this cool thing:

sewing machine !


it's a sewing machine that scans fabric and uses cmyk dye to match the thread to the fabric. isn't that cool and luxurious???

p.s. Gothy Witchy Bird skull necklace. MADE BY A WITCH.

10 comments:

  1. Busting on shitty movies/tv shows/books is one of my favorite passtimes. i didn't found out how crucial it is to have at least one co-buster until after i started living alone! max is not as good at it as you might imagine.

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  2. imagine having to sit through all the episodes of 'law and order: SVU' they play a day without christina or mouse to help make fun of it ! some days are unbearable for me too.

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  3. FLARED JEANS ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!!

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  4. mine too ! but theoretically i can get them tailored !!!!!

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  5. I think I saw that movie or heard it playing somewhere?

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  6. but i like thread that doesn't match!

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  7. This movie really is the WORST. I think my favorite part was when Jamie Foxx doesn't get Gerard Butler to actually admit to anything and then says "SEE! CAUGHT YA!" and then Gerard Butler restates the entire conversation for the couple in the back row of the theatre who didn't already pick up on it the first time.

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  8. i found it so suspicious that a seasoned prosecutor who always gets his man like... did not catch that? and yeah i hate when movies have remedial reviews at any point, but it's especially tedious when they have them RIGHT AFTER THE THING HAPPENED

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  9. you call it suspicious, i call it worst script of the year.

    like, really. what was the point of making this movie at all?

    other than to entertain me.

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  10. I laughed so hard at this: "before entering the machine that transforms him into his sexy alter ego, mikael nuttaire". A+

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