Friday, March 19, 2010

braveheart of the rodeo

did i mention that pizza acts like a fucking freak when you give her catnip? she never reacted much to toys and scratching posts with catnip, so i never bothered to buy any for her to eat. i got a tub on wednesday and fed her a few pinches and she stayed stock still doing owl ears for a minute and then jumped onto christina's craft table and started obsessively licking some wool roving. like, wouldn't let me push her away from it and her muscles were totally locked so i couldn't even push her head away !

catnip
some other cat eating some other catnip


last night, i raided and taught myself to crochet. we had a lot of downtime because we were wiping on valithria:

valithria


since we were missing a few key dps and healers. we do have some new recruits, but i don't think anyone briefed them on the no talking like a neanderthal policy so i'm sure i'll be able to report some awesome rape jokes to you guys soon. anyway, in my downtime, i watched knit witch videos on youtube and taught myself three crochet stitches.

crochet
from the bottom: single crochet, double crochet, half double crochet


i still need to work on tension and stuff but i think i've pretty much got it down. it probably took like a half hour? as you guys probably know, the #1 most annoying thing you can say to a knitter/crocheter (besides "make me something lololol") is "i wish i could do that" because... no one's brain comes with that stuff already inside it- we learned how to do it. and there is nothing stopping you from learning besides laziness, so why bother to comment? anyway, as a reaction to that i've become super unrealistically confident about my abilities and just decided i was going to learn to crochet, and i'm doing it.

big ups to christina for checking my work, though.

i was going to make a list of stuff i need to do this weekend (clean my room, PUT MY SHELF TOGETHER, grocery shop, make a chewbacca) but instead i'm going to do this one:

list of things you shouldn't say to fat people who are losing weight:
- "you look great !" - there is a judgment in this, and that judgment is "when you are more fat, you do not look great". this is a total motherfucking mindfuck, so don't say it. even if you just want to say it because they look happier/"healthier"/whatever, don't say it. if you have to compliment them, why not be a normal person and not compliment their body?
- "i'm glad you're finally doing something about your weight" - again, there is a judgment here, and that judgment is, "i have been waiting for you to do something about your weight". no fat person wants to hear that someone close to them is thinking about their body or weight and waiting for them to lose weight.
- "what's your secret?" - there is no secret to weight loss. you lose weight if you eat well and exercise, which most people find boring. what you also may not realize is that their "secret" is all of the struggle and mental turmoil and weird feelings that come along with trying to change the way you eat and exercise and live and LOOK, and dealing with other peoples' reactions to those changes as your value increases to other people as your weight decreases, and you probably don't want to hear that because that isn't fun for you.
- "aren't you on a diet? can you eat that?" - the fat person is keenly aware what they "can" eat. they don't need your help (and guess what- there is ALSO a judgment in there !)

these are just guidelines for people you're close to, by the way. if an acquaintance or someone you don't know very well is losing a lot of weight, do not say shit to them ever. in 2007 i lost 75 lbs and had to deal with the comments above from people i was close to (imagine the mindfuck of embarrassment and shame that happens from hearing people you NEVER would have guessed judged you based on your weight say stuff like that ! and imagine how you feel when you gain it back, like i did), but i also had to deal with coworkers saying that they could see that my BACK was skinnier and coworkers saying that my boobs were getting smaller and all kinds of shit !

sorry, this is on my mind lately as i work on eating disorder stuff. it sucks that to work on that, my appearance will have to change and i'll have to go crazy again from people commenting on it. whatever, here's a turtle:

turtle


have a good weekend !

13 comments:

  1. i love you and i'm so grateful you exist.

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  2. dude please make a PSA with that stuff, your list is so straight up. (if this isn't a big enough megaphone.) offices are seriously a hothouse of unproductive commentary by women on other women. EVERYWHERE that i've worked, women have managed to say the most cutting, backhanded shit to each other (not to mention consistently talking about their weight to one another) and it makes my head explode.

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  3. yo, i don't blame them, but i do try to educate them. women are socialized from birth to view each other as competition (mostly based on beauty and the ability to attract male attention), and we're socialized to relate to each other by talking about how much we hate ourselves. i mean, i don't need to tell you that, but i want to make sure that it's clear that i try to be productive about it when it comes up at work rather than like WHY DON'T THESE CATHIES STOP HASSLING ME

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  4. what about "I'LL MISS YOUR BOOTY"

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  5. haha i'm morbidly obese, no one has ever expressed pleasure about my body in that way.

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  6. Roxy #1!!

    imagine the mindfuck of embarrassment and shame that happens from hearing people you NEVER would have guessed judged you based on your weight say stuff like that ! and imagine how you feel when you gain it back, like i did)

    Also this causes so many issues. When I gained weight back, I just figured those people hate how I look now. Awesome!

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  7. yeahhhh this is part of the reason i've been hiding in my house for a year !

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  8. i echo that sentiment hardcore. a lot of my NERVOUS GENDER stuff goes hand in hand with my eating disorder & when i gained weight, i stopped having the sex i wanted to have/stopped getting naked because i was used to being perceived androgynously.

    i've only recently come to terms with the fact that one of the side reasons that i ran away & stayed away was because after my car accident, i gained loads of weight. i had to quit pursuing a dance career (or so i thought) & made it a point to cut everyone out that was in anyway connected to that community. one time when i went back, i ran into a fellow student & they didn't recognize me & it fucked with me so bad because it basically CONFIRMED it to be true.

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  9. i think i am like the flip side of the above comment. i realized recently that my eating disorder issues without fail resurfaced every time i became involved with a dude, and became most severe in my most heteronormative relationships (where androgyny was not rewarded with sexual attraction, and i was therefore safe from having to deal with it.) comlicated and weird and interesting stuff. (sorry if this is sidetrack-y!)

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  10. Whoooaa, you nailed it! That's why I still have body image issues. I dropped weight by dropping calories in the eighth grade and heard nothing but "ooo"'s and "ahhh"'s, which made me think before the weight loss, I was indirectly getting "mooo"'s. It still pisses me off because this caused three years of obsessive paranoia--three years of anorexia. I still feel my body is on display, but a part of me would much rather binge and not fit into their versions of disgusting ideals than to live a life of anorexic, paranoid hell. My response? "Fuck you and your backwards compliments! I'm eating my pastry and then my bread and then my pasta..." and the binging begins. A sort of rebellion that keeps me trapped as well, but not trapped in others` expectations.

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  11. I just love this forever and ever:

    what you also may not realize is that their "secret" is all of the struggle and mental turmoil and weird feelings that come along with trying to change the way you eat and exercise and live and LOOK, and dealing with other peoples' reactions to those changes as your value increases to other people as your weight decreases, and you probably don't want to hear that because that isn't fun for you.

    Just bravo.

    I lost and regained, but SEVERAL people in my life said while I was losing "Your face looks so thin and beautiful now!" HOW IS THAT OKAY?

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