it wasn't like... retail therapy or anything, i have no comfortable crappy shoes i can wear and get dirty for the summer since i wore through most of them, so i got a pair of brown and a pair of black. just getting out of the house and DOING something made me feel better, but it always makes me feel weird when the thing i'm doing is shopping. i'm super thrifty and critical of my consumption (though i'm far from perfect) but it's gotten to a point where i feel weird and guilty about spending money on something i legitimately need. didn't stop me from buying an xbox though !
my birthday party is this weekend and i'm really nervous. every year i get anxious that no one will come and no one will have a good time, even though i don't think that has ever happened before. this is the first year that i've restricted myself to one birthday party but i may try to get brunch going on sunday or something. the plan is hotel party with pizza and beer at this point? i think "hotel party" makes it sound way more glamorous than it will be, because it's just going to be nerds eating pizza in air conditioning for the most part. maybe they will eat cake too.
in reality my birthday cake will be like, a vegan soda cake
oh yeah. how do i make a pimple go away? i have a pimple on my upper lip that is super gross and painful and it won't go away. i never really get them but i want it gone asap because it's my least favorite pimple location.
so this entry has been boring and stilted and weird because i had a rough eating disorder night last night and i'm not really sure how to talk about it.