Monday, June 14, 2010

i'm the phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantom of the operaaaaa (that's me !)

what's up dudesssss. i feel like i had the longest weekend ever because i took off work on friday- i've been feeling really weird and lousy for the past couple of weeks. i've had weird equilibrium problems, sore teeth, and a painful outer ear (all things that point to an ear infection ! but my ear only hurts a little on the outside !) and bad headaches and stuff. i stayed home and basically slept all day.

i don't know what's up with this

when christina got home, we dropped our laundry off and went to cvs, where i got school supplies for my classes (which don't start for like, a month, but i was really excited !) and some pretzel m&ms, which turned out to be not that great. which is a bummer because i um, bought quite a few bags of pretzel m&ms

pretzel m&ms

when we got home, we hunkered down and watched an education, which i've had from netflix for like eleven years at this point. i was psyched because i love peter sarsgaard and i also love carey mulligan (she was in one of the best new doctor who episodes) and i read the article by lynn barber that it was based on right after i heard about the movie.

an education

i did have some problems with it:
- peter sarsgaard's accent was TERRIBLE. terrible. like, unlistenably terrible.
- while i find him very attractive i find it hard to believe that even a bored 16 year old craving sophistication would even have any interest in him.
- i thought her dad was super over the top in an unrealistic way and his immediate 180 in letting her travel internationally with a 40 year old dude and letting her drop out of school to be unrealistic

the problem is, all of that stuff is stuff that really happened according to lynn barber. like, the dude talked in a fake accent to sound sophisticated, he was unattractive, her dad really did act like that. i guess it either makes me think that she was exaggerating or like, maybe it wasn't really a good story?

i played borderlands with perry for awhile, but we didn't get too far because i wasn't feeling well. he also diagnosed me with a traumatic brain injury based on my symptoms. after that, i watched follow that bird with ibrahim on our xboxes, which proved to be much more my speed. i watched it literally hundreds of times as a kid, and the way i remembered the plot is that big bird gets taken away by DHS and he has to go live with a foster family and then he runs away and gets kidnapped by sleazy carnival guys. but that couldn't be right, right? why would that be the plot of a kids' movie?


it turns out i was exactly right, down to the fact that the sleazy carnival guys were named the sleaze brothers. it was still good, though it was full of singing and i didn't remember any singing. but i'm basically into anything where i get to see the muppets' legs so i was psyched.

on saturday i felt pretty crappy and sick so i didn't really do much- i tried to sleep a lot and drink lots of water. i was supposed to go to the girls to the front coverband show in west philly, where lots of cool women... played in cover bands (including carol and zia and the awesome girl who was danzig at the halloween cover band show a few years ago). a show in a warehouse on an 85 degree night is a crappy place to go when your ears hurt and you're overheated though, so i stayed home with mouse and we watched inglourious basterds.

i am feeling a little brocktoon about melanie laurent

i'd already seen it, though mouse hadn't, and i think his fond memories of seeing pulp fiction when he was 16 give him an almost childlike delight when he sees tarantino movies. he really seemed to enjoy hitler getting turned into ground beef by bullets. i also got weirdly fixated on daniel bruhl and added all his available movies to my netflix instant queue, to be watched basically never because they aren't in english and i hate looking at a tv.


everything he's in looks pretty brutally dull, but i'd like to make sure that i actually find him attractive and that i didn't suddenly develop a nazi "thing" or something.

soooo to continue my weekend of not really doing anything but watching movies and playing video games, i played borderlands with perry for a bit and watched episodes of spongebob with ibrahim. mike came down on sunday and we got caught in a horrific rainstorm, got some gelato, and went to see get him to the greek- i wanted to see the a-team because i really want to help liam neeson get a vacation home (and i like anything where a tank is dropped from an airplane), but it wasn't playing at a convenient time. anyway, this may surprise you, but get him to the greek sucked !

get him to the greek

like all jud apatow movies, this movie is about a guy who is like, a toooooooootal pussy and is nice to women, and then he meets a masculine guy who teaches him to treat women like crap, and then his life is forever changed except he goes back to being nice to the same woman he used to be nice to? but it's also about how you should follow your dreams, OR about how dreams are not all they're cracked up to be, and also about how you should let people treat you like shit, or not? or something? and the moral of the story is that guys who fuck a lot of women are cool but women who fuck a lot of guys are lying dirty whores. and also that a sexual encounter involving a heavily intoxicated woman is most likely to lead to the man being raped, but his rape is funny because it's funny when men get raped. needless to say, this movie didn't really recover from its rape joke. i laughed a few times but i couldn't tell you what i laughed at, and i'm a pretty smart person but i could not tell you exactly what the overall message of the movie is except like, maybe it's cool, or not, to be a rockstar, and one guy following his dreams sucks but it's good if another guy does, and like... also, puff daddy.

the music was also pretty terrible- like, i feel like if they had spent ten more minutes on the lyrics for each song they could have come up with actual funny lyrics? the songs didn't SOUND bad, they were just so hasty and crappy. i felt the same way about the dracula musical in forgetting sarah marshall- that had everything i liked- dracula, muppets, singing in a dracula voice, a frankenstein (jason segel) but the lyrics were so stupid and lazy that i didn't enjoy it. anyway, rose byrne and puff daddy were the highlights of this movie, and the mad men lady was good too. i also want to encourage the brown haired girl from undeclared to try doing something besides being a "slutty girl" in jud apatow movies because she's very funny and cute.

i got dinner after that (um, a mini quiche and 1/3 of a watermelon?) and then ended up going to bed early because of my bad dinner choices. haha.


i seriously didn't realize how much time i spent sitting in front of a tv this weekend until i wrote that. whatever, i didn't feel well ! my goal for next weekend is to actually do stuff and to hang out with mouse and christina more. i might try to take a day off work when mouse has off so we can bro down.

p.s. hayyyyy


  1. "but i'm basically into anything where i get to see the muppets' legs so i was psyched."

    i think about watching kermit's legs pedaling that bicycle like...all the time. i distinctly remember it BLOWING MY MIND when i was a kid, like 'w...wait a minute, MAYBE HE'S REAL??' and to be honest I still feel exactly the same way as an adult.

  2. yeah i think i truly don't understand puppeteering well enough to come to any conclusion when i see that but 'welpppppppp kermit exists'

  3. i loooooove it when Kermit wears jeans!

  4. ahhhhhhh i'm not even sure if i've seen that !!!!!!

  5. I was trying to find a picture and stumbled upon a muppet wiki!!

  6. i really like your review on get him to the greek.. even though i haven't seen it. i like to read reviews before i see something, so i know what i'm in for. i probably won't see it, unless it's free for me.

  7. Every time I ride past one of those ... big, round hay bales I think of "Follow That Bird," though the last time I saw it was whenever it was actually in theaters.

    No interest in seeing "Get Him to the Greek" but as usual your critique is awesome. Awwwww, poor corny guys whose movies never feature female characters of substance as some weird backlash for the fact that in real life they're rejected by women who have the good sense to know they can do better.

  8. i also am pretty grossed out by the idea that like... dudes who respect women have to go through a period of fucking other women (usually a "slut" who is heavily intoxicated?) and treating women like shit to learn that he was right to treat women with respect in the first place !

  9. Yeah. And what an ass-backwards way to go about things. But what else would you expect from men, am I right?!?!

  10. I haven't thought about Follow that Bird since I saw it in the theater when I was...8. You just made me feel creepy. But the idea of suddenly developing a nazi thing makes me feel less creepy.