i guess something i should get out of the way because i feel weird not mentioning it is that my dad died on thursday. it's not a big deal- we were estranged and i haven't seen him in 21 years and i made peace with all that a long time ago. i've felt slightly guilty that i have like... zero feelings about it? i feel KIND OF sad for him that he didn't get to have a happy life cause he was a fuck up, but everyone around him gave him 129109 chances to help himself or make amends and he just kept being a butthole. not that he was a BAD guy per se, he was just a drug addict and alcoholic and it made him... a person who behaves like a drug addict and alcoholic.
i think this is the only picture i have of me and my dad !
i guess the moral of the story is that it's okay to estrange yourself from family members who are damaging or toxic to your life and it's also okay to care more about all your mosquito bites than their death.
that brings us to this: I HAVE LIKE 40 MOSQUITO BITES. despite growing up in florida and spending most of my childhood outside, i never really got mosquito bites. even in the past few years, i'd go camping or to a picnic and my friends would be covered and i'd get none. right now my entire body below the waist is covered in mosquito bites and it totally sucks (no pun intended). maybe i'm being melodramatic since i've never really had them, but how do people live like this? i want to put my legs in a piranha tank and have them eat off the skin.
my mom and i have been having a really good time together. she's been here since wednesday and i don't exactly remember when everything happened so here's a truncated list.
- went to dinner at bar ferdinand with christina, mike, and emily
- went to the gallery mall (haha) and saw a person have a stroke in kmart when we were using their bathroom (i know where all the public bathrooms are in center city fyi)
- walked around center city
- went to target and home depot to get random house crap and a new air conditioner for my livingroom
- got indian food and gelato with mike and mouse, then watched star wars together
- sat in clark park and ate ice cream from the ice cream truck and watched the capture the flag LARP
- bro'd down and watched movies while we did work on our laptops
- bro'd down with christina, who is my mom's favorite daughter.
we also went to a lovely barbeque at kati's house in delaware on sunday night. i only brought veggie burgers (not that ambitious) and chips and salsa because it was too hot to cook, but i also got to see kati and see her house and meet a bunch of her friends who were really cool. note: this is where i got most of my mosquito bites. kati's house is also extremely beautiful and she's a wonderful hostess.
yesterday, mouse and i (sans my mom) went to zia's birthday party in the suburbs at her parents' house. i was super psyched because jeanne and jesse and mike b. and some other people i like were there, and the food was good. i didn't wear a bathing suit because i'm one of the only fat people i know and it's too um, elephant-in-the-room-y? but i forgot that everyone looks stupid in a bathing suit so i should've just gone for it. i have this abysmal tankini where the underwire is wider than my chest that i could've worn. anyway, i had a good time and didn't feel too awkward.
jesse in the pool
for this party, i baked vegan cakes in the style of tasty kake peanut butter kandy kakes- yellow cake with peanut butter filling and chocolate icing !
mine didn't look that good, and the cake to icing ratio was fucked up, but everyone ate it !
i also got to spend quality time with mouse- we haven't hung out alone in a really long time, and we got extra alone time because his car almost overheated ! i didn't mind because we got to hang out. we also went to visit his grandma afterward, who isn't filling well, and i hugged the motherfucking shit out of his parents' border collie, who is one of my favorite dogs ever.
i would say the only damper on our visit (besides me turning into a grumpy teenager sometimes) is my mom's new obsession with farmville. she really is addicted to it ! usually at night when she visits we'll watch law and order and bust everyone's balls, and now she just stares at/talks to her laptop while she plays farmville. today is her last day here, so i'm calling a farmville moratorium.
okay i'll talk to you guys tomorrow !