Thursday, September 9, 2010

these eyes will stay wide

basically i don't want to talk about anything except how nervous i am about school. i'm really scared ! what if everyone hates me ! what if i'm not smart enough ! or rather, not... academic-y enough ! i have to write a ten page paper for the genocide class which is making me really fucking nervous- not just the paper writing stuff, which is huge because i don't really remember how to write a research paper, but because of my procrastination issues. i somehow managed to get this done when i was 18, though, so maybe i can pull it off now?

research paper

this is the part of the syllabus that makes me most nervous, though:

Each student will be asked to choose a date to guide the classroom discussion for the first 30 minutes of class.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck ! why would you do that to me ! why ! i'm pretty good in front of audiences and i'm not shy or anything, but i'm.. not a college person and don't know how to do this junk !

in other sad nerd news, i actually dressed up for my first day of school? my mom sent me an email this morning that said, "i wish i was there to braid your hair on the first day!" me too, mom. me too. i'm wearing:

with a wide black belt


and two of my coworkers have said i looked cute, which of course i found annoying because i hate coworkers talking about my body or appearance. because i'm the dourest feminist !

bleh. i don't know. i'm too nervous and rushed to write anything good- i have meetings from 11-3 today, both redundant in one way or another. one specifies that a boxed lunch will be provided, but it's most assuredly a red bell pepper stuffed with a green bell pepper for the vegetarians (aka me). i actually told the guy running these meetings that i'm allergic to bell peppers (not a lie. well, a lie. but i would rather eat any of the stuff i'm allergic to !) but i am willing to bet $9,000,000,000000,00,00000,000,000.47 that he forgot.

sorry this entry is so grumpy and negative. i'm really, really, really, really scared.

p.s. clark park is closed for renovation ! boooo.
p.p.s. jeanne's show is tomorrow !



    listen to this on your walkman as you walk into class. maybe bring a knife to carve a skull on the desk. PS. I don't remember what school was like.

  2. hahaha maybe i should wear a leather jacket too??

  3. do not be nervous! i mean that is a futile thing to say, but you are guaranteed more smart and capable than the young people in your classes. if you need help using library things or starting research for paper things, i can help you! or find a librarian friend for you

  4. I have a switchblade comb you can borrow. call the teacher "teach".

  5. definitely call the teacher 'teach', and also if anyone gives you any guff, stare at them intently and snap your pencil in half.

  6. i really like this mixture of sincere and cool advice !!!!

    i'm not really worried about not being smart enough, but i don't... know things about the process of going to school and formal education, like how to write papers and stuff.