these eyes will stay wide

basically i don't want to talk about anything except how nervous i am about school. i'm really scared ! what if everyone hates me ! what if i'm not smart enough ! or rather, not... academic-y enough ! i have to write a ten page paper for the genocide class which is making me really fucking nervous- not just the paper writing stuff, which is huge because i don't really remember how to write a research paper, but because of my procrastination issues. i somehow managed to get this done when i was 18, though, so maybe i can pull it off now?



this is the part of the syllabus that makes me most nervous, though:

Each student will be asked to choose a date to guide the classroom discussion for the first 30 minutes of class.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck ! why would you do that to me ! why ! i'm pretty good in front of audiences and i'm not shy or anything, but i'm.. not a college person and don't know how to do this junk !

in other sad nerd news, i actually dressed up for my first day of school? my mom sent me an email this morning that said, "i wish i was there to braid your hair on the first day!" me too, mom. me too. i'm wearing:


with a wide black belt



and two of my coworkers have said i looked cute, which of course i found annoying because i hate coworkers talking about my body or appearance. because i'm the dourest feminist !

bleh. i don't know. i'm too nervous and rushed to write anything good- i have meetings from 11-3 today, both redundant in one way or another. one specifies that a boxed lunch will be provided, but it's most assuredly a red bell pepper stuffed with a green bell pepper for the vegetarians (aka me). i actually told the guy running these meetings that i'm allergic to bell peppers (not a lie. well, a lie. but i would rather eat any of the stuff i'm allergic to !) but i am willing to bet $9,000,000,000000,00,00000,000,000.47 that he forgot.

sorry this entry is so grumpy and negative. i'm really, really, really, really scared.

p.s. clark park is closed for renovation ! boooo.
p.p.s. jeanne's show is tomorrow !

reunited blah blah blah blah goooood

hey guyssss i'm back at work. today our new website launches anddddd it's move-in day for penn students. today is going to be really, really cool.

my mom is still here until tomorrow- i initially thought that she was leaving september 5, but she's leaving the 2nd ! it's been great having her here, though i have lost my patience a few times. like, the #1 thing that stresses me out is people asking me questions and making me repeat stuff and she is like... a constant stream of repetitive questions. she told me that i was being mean on monday though and i'm proud to say that i've been the nicest daughter ever since. yesterday she asked me some iteration of "what are we doing today" 13 times in 2 hours and i didn't even get mad !


this is my mom's favorite painting cause it looks like me and her

we've done all kinds of stuff this week, but most of it has been shopping. when my mom visits, we end up shopping a lot, but like... shopping at ross and the dollar store and stuff. it's hard for me to post about this stuff because the least interesting conversations and blogs are all about the stuff people bought, but at the same time finding cheap plus size clothing is pretty exciting. i always forget that ross is a decent option for plus size stuff (well, shirts and dresses- they had a single pair of pants in my size and it was a pair of old lady peach elastic waist pleated pants). i got two neat stuffy society lady dresses and a bunch of shirts with puffy sleeves and a shrug by my favorite company, candy rain.



i wonder where ross gets their plus size stock from? like, i've never seen any of these brands in stores or anything ever. if i knew what stores carried like, candy rain and leena jeans and steves of new york and stuff (that last one is made up) i'd definitely go there and get work clothes ! though i guess getting everything for like $7 each is a plus.

we also went to famous footwear, where i got... two pairs of shoes made by fergie. i don't really know anything about fergie except she peed herself in public and didn't give a shit (cool) and she's in the black-eyed peas (not cool) (also i think EVERYONE is in the black eyed peas, but especially wyclef and ?uestlove), butttttt her shoe line is called FERGALICIOUS? she has to know how disgusting that sounds. it sounds like putting your tongue on a moldy piece of cheese. i hate it ! they were $30 and buy one/get one, so it was a pretty good deal. they also fit my advanced ankles (though i don't really have comparatively big ankles)



so, what else did we do? we've hung out with mouse a few times, mike, and diana, and of course christina. we've watched a few movies, walked around, and eaten a lot of food. i love my mom, but it'll be exciting to get back to (relatively) normal eating once she's gone because my bowels are in turmoil.

oh, i also finished reading mockingjay. i can't really get too in depth with a review because a bunch of people i know haven't read it yet :(



i'll try to not ruin the book for you guys. overall, it was much better than catching fire and a good ending for the series, buttttt

- katniss became the most unlikable character ever by the end of the books (and suzanne collins kind of went nuts with the EVERYONE LOVES KATNISS AND ALWAYS HAS AND THINKS SHE'S SO SPECIAL AND LOVES HERRRR thing)
- i do not agree with the resolution of the team gale/team peeta thing
- some major characters died and there was like no reaction or emotion or even proper death scenes for them?
- muttations are the dumbest

okay, i guess i'm going to go. i should be able to write a better entry tomorrow when i don't have 10,000 people breathing down my neck !

p.s. please remind me to post about adult mutant ninja turtles (a series of texts mouse sent me).

i want you to know what love is

blehhh ! i have so much school stuff to do ! blehhh !!!!

what's up guys? i haven't really done much the past couple of days besides go to class and do my homework. german is actually getting pretty hard because i cannot make my brain understand the difference between the cases. like, i know what to DO for each case, but i don't know how to tell if something is nominative/dative/accusative. i give up. history is okay, despite two weeks of group work where i got grouped with the same dude who is like... intent on denying the contribution of women to american history and talking about how our female professor is WRONG and the female writers are WRONG.


in the words of mary wollstonecraft, "fuck you, ballbag !"

i have german homework every night this week and next week, a big german essay to write, a german voice presentation (which is basically just reading the essay), a german interview with someone who isn't my professor, and a final exam. for history, i have to answer a discussion question TODAY, watch the lectures, do the reading, do one more timeline essay, do some more little online questions, and then do a final exam. i'm totally fucking swamped and i'm procrastinating like crazy !

last night while doing some reading, i actually got choked up because i hate andrew jackson so much, so today's (very brief, cause i have studying to do) lesson is about how andrew jackson is the fucking worst.



you may know him as the $20 bill guy, or maybe OLD HICKORY, but what you should really associate andrew jackson with is the indian removal act and the trail of tears (a genocidal relocation of native peoples so we could take their shit, in case you missed middle school history). during the war of 1812 he killed a shit ton of native americans, and during the first seminole war he went into spanish territory and killed a shit ton more of native americans (which is significant because it was totally illegal and fucked up). he then went on to basically be the forerunner of anti-intellectualism in the united states who fiercely defended the idea that his racist hunches were better and righter and more noble than fancy book learning. and um, here is a quote from his first state of the union address that is one of the grossest things i've ever read:

What good man would prefer a country covered with forests and ranged by a few thousand savages to our extensive Republic, studded with cities, towns, and prosperous farms, embellished with all the improvements which art can devise or industry execute, occupied by more than 12,000,000 happy people, and filled with all the blessings of liberty, civilization, and religion?

blehh. i fucking hate him ! why is he on money ! why do ATMs only give $20 bills ! here's what i'm using instead of $20s now:



um, on a lighter note, that beautiful dress i got fit perfectly and looked great on me and is my favorite thing ever



and it comes in several other beautiful colors that would look great on me:



but i'm not sure what to do about my most recent ethical quandry about target. like, most of us have pretended that target is better than walmart because they are like 20% less soulsucking, community-destroying, and unethical, plus they have cuter stuff. it's cool, i'm not perfect, this is an inconsistency on my part and i probably should do more than half-heartedly acknowledge it. recently, though, the store donated $150,000 to a political candidate who is homophobic and aggressively supports homophobic legislation, as well being affiliated with a band who supports the violent extermination of gay people (and um, see above for my feelings about violent exterminations of people).



here's the rub, though: target is one of two clothing stores that sell clothes in my size. there are a handful more that sell plus size clothing, but most are $30-$100 a piece, whereas most clothing at target (and the other store, old navy) is below $30. they also have reasonably cute clothing, an extreme rarity for plus size women, who very rarely get the opportunity to feel comfortable and attractive and cute in clothing, with target's clothing being slightly more well-made (presumably because their child workforce is more disciplined? i hate life). but, that brings me to another point- why is it important for me to look or dress cute? why do i care about that? i know why i SHOULDN'T, so why do i?

anyway, i don't know what i'm getting at here. if i look at this like cute dresses vs. being an ally for my fellow human beings, the choice is easy. if i bring in a bunch of other complicated stuff about being fat/plus size clothing/socialization/consumption, it seems slightly more complicated. i guess my conclusion for now is that you should throw red paint on me if i end up buying those dresses, but i'm going to try not to.

come with me if you want to live

okay i have to make this a quick one because i have both work work and school work to do today !

yesterday i skipped my german class ! this is the first time of the summer session i've skipped a class, and probably will be the only class i skip. i had a good excuse though- jess silk was here !!!!!!!!!!! she and christina are going on vacation together, so she came down so they could get a rental car. i was so happy to see her, she's the best/cutest/funniest. plus i like having a non-judgmental third party to observe how weird christina and i are. pizza was also excited and being super hammy



we mostly talked about feminism and painted our nails? i painted my fingernails a dark purple and my toenails a dark green, once again proving that i'm fixated on the incredible hulk.



after awhile i retired to my room to do my german homework. we had to watch a video for like... one of the stupidest songs i've ever heard? and answer questions about it (and record ourselves speaking them) and about the singer of the song, herbert groenemeyer. the song is like, "MEN ARE VERY STRONG, MEN CRY SECRETLY, MEN START WARS, POOR MEN" basically. it also doesn't seem to have a real melody or chorus or anything?



school seems to be going prettyyyyyy well. i actually finished my application for fall as of this morning, and i'm going to be really embarrassed and bummed if i don't get in, so if i suddenly stop talking about school in 3 weeks it's because i didn't get in and i'm miserable and embarrassed and don't want to talk about it everrrrrrr.

what else? i got this dress from target online (i heard about this immediately after. great ! i basically have two stores i can shop at and one is like 100% child slave labor and the other funnels money to intolerant racist and homophobic bigots !) and i'm hoping it works out- they have it in a few other colors and it looks like a perfect summer/fall dress and also it has pockets.


in a color i call "hulk shorts purple"

last night i made a commitment to learn a few facts about each of the founding fathers, so i'm going to share that with you now ! i started with the signers of the declaration of independence and i will share with you some facts about the dudes with the funniest names.



1) button gwinnett - this dude always stuck out to me cause he's the first name on the declaration of independence. he was a representative of georgia. his signature is the most valuable american signature (rated worldwide in value comparable to SHAKESPEARE). he was killed in a duel (which he initiated) by lachlan mcintosh in 1777. alas, poor button



2) william whipple - representative of new hampshire. he crossed the delaware with george washington, and his slave PRINCE WHIPPLE may appear in the famous "washington crossing the delaware" painting. he died while FAINTING FROM A HORSE !!!



3) caesar rodney - representative from delaware, appears on the delaware state quarter ! revolutionary war guy who dramatically rode his horse 80 miles in a thunderstorm to break a tie in the vote for independence.



4) robert treat paine - representative of massachusetts. it would be so fucking funny if he was a doctor but he was a lawyer. his family were the principal founders of... newark, new jersey. zzzz.



5) william williams - i'll never get over this type of name ! he was a representative of connecticut. only thing of note is that he showed up late and didn't get to vote on the declaration of independence, but he signed it anyway !



stay tuned next week for a list of the hunkiest founding fathers ! powder your wigs !

i gotta go do work now.

p.s. george washington is cool
p.p.s. i watched a show about terror birds with ken the other night where the terror birds kept smashing honeydew melons and now all i want on earth is honeydew melon, but i don't like it. and i feel guilty because i think dr. bunsen honeydew is made of it.

wipe it on your dress and send it to me

hey guys ! what's up ! unibrow summer may come to an end this week because i'm ultimately getting too self-conscious and am unable to resist sexist beauty standards. i'm trying !

i had a pretty good weekend. on friday after work, i did some german homework, and then mouse and i went to south philly to make dinner and hang out with jeanne and mike. they're the best? we made two delicious pizzas and one okay pizza- one for mouse that was vegan and was basically a hot open faced bell pepper sandwich (he seemed to like it though ! but i cruelly starved him for hours and hours before he got to eat it), a fresh spinach pizza, and the aforementioned potato and olive pizza (i used black olives but should've used kalamata, and should've salted the potato water more !). so we ate pizzas and watched the monster squad.



seriously, what a beautiful creech. i agree with mike who said something along the lines of, "omg that is the flyest creech on earth" and snapped his fingers. maybe i'm remembering it wrong? i also got to hang out with vinegar the cat (fig only made a brief appearance) who has grown into one of those perfect cats who is like a limp noodle when you hold him.


with his buddy, the wolfman

mouse has a sore back from jiu jitsu and had to work in the morning, so we left before the movie was over and i came home and finished my german homework. on saturday, i worked on my history homework and read the ghost next door


the ghost next door by wylly folk st. john

i actually really loved this book. i've read tons of spooky ghost is haunting stuff until someone solves its murder/lays its soul to rest books for young adults (i'm looking at YOU, betty ren wright !) and there were a few pretty unique characteristics in this book.

1) the existence of ghosts is left ambiguous and there is a healthy amount of skepticism and arguments both for and against ghosts
2) the main character largely involves her parents and other trusted adults in her investigation of the ghost. this was super refreshing because, while i always advocate a healthy amount of secrecy from your parents, i'm a reasonable adult now and appreciate the portrayal of other reasonable adults who take children seriously and believe them.
3) the book contains seances and psychics and spiritualism which some of the adults are into, and are involved in psychic societies, and it isn't presented as weird ! like even the skeptics are polite ! and i love that as a skeptic because i love a good hoax seance !

i almost made it through the entire book before i got to the gross fatphobic part (the medium was so disgustingly fat she could hardly walk and the couch was buckling under her fat disgusting body), but it was still there. bummmmmmmmmer.



after that, mouse and mike g. came over so we could watch back to the future, because i'd never seen it. it was really cute and funny, and has one of my favorite movie elements: unexplained shit ! like, why was a cool high school teenager buds with a mad scientist? who cares ! just roll with it !



i really did like it and think it holds up in a way a lot of 80s movies don't, but i wish i'd seen it as a kid because it was hard for me to shake certain elements of it? like... bif tries to rape mrs. mcfly? and then later in life the mcflys have a dude who attempted to rape their matriarch doing odd jobs for them? that said, tom f. wilson's performance as bif was amazing and he was so villainous and i'm sorry being such an a-hole ruined his career. or maybe being a big beefy doughface ruined it because he's basically like the archetypal character actor.

by the way, mouse usually laughs when mike g. ruins movies for me by talking and talking and talking and asking questions (ex. when christina was watching sabrina, asking "is that sabrina?" about every person on screen. or when marty mcfly sits down at the breakfast table and his sister is sitting there, asking, "WHO IS THAT?"), but the shoe was on the other foot this time. mouse's blood pressure jumped like 100 points ! it was great.



on sunday, i mostly hung out and did errands. lazslo came over in the morning because he was here for a show the night before and he and christina got brunch ! it was nice to see him, he is my brother in weird al (besides my real brother. and mike b.). i got a car share car even though there was a big gigantic storm and went to trader joe's, the first of 29390283 errands. i found everything i needed, it wasn't too crowded, the handsome tall guy i like to look at was working, i got in and out in 20 minutes, and then... my car wouldn't start. i got soaked trying to figure out what the problem was, and realized i left my cellphone at home, so i had to go back inside soaking wet and sheepishly ask to use a phonebook and their phone. it took about a half hour, and the battery was totally dead, so i just had to return it and not run my other errands. fuck you, prius !



i came home and had some food and watched tv and knitted with my main man, christina. she was watching mad men, which i have to admit i don't really get. it's basically like having a shitty job and a shitty life in real time? like it's super dull and the thought of having to spend so much time and money on clothes and grooming stresses me out. i think it would be eased a little if i found jon hamm attractive but i think he looks like someone's dad. or like a future stepdad for me, since my mom thinks he is hot (you have some competition for my mom's affections, antonio banderas !).


hambone. not pictured: flippy

after that, i retired to my room to watch a movie on my xbox. i ended up watching the edukators, a daniel bruhl movie about anti-capitalist activists who accidentally kidnap a businessman.



it was surprisingly non-annoying for a movie about young radicals ! daniel bruhl is the handsomest, though he had really unfortunate facial hair and i can't tell if he's a good actor cause he wasn't speaking english. i surprisingly understood a lot of the german dialogue too ! the only element that bothered me on a personal level was one dude "stealing" his best friend's girlfriend because nothing makes me feel shittier and sicker (i can't even watch daria anymore or the episode of MSCL where rayanne bones jordan catalano). i also felt myself feeling strangely sympathetic for the rich asshole they kidnap because it's probably really scary to be kidnapped.

blehhh. that's about it. totally demolished my weekend to-do list, except i didn't start my history reading so i'll have to put my nose to the grindstone today. i also need to bring some papers to LPS tomorrow to complete my fall application. i'm still pretty nervous about that. other than that, i'm wearing a sleeveless dress today.



though i'm generally self-confident and utterly unconcerned about peoples' feelings about my appearance i do have a slight hang-up about showing my arms. but like... i don't think fat arms are unattractive or weird or unacceptable on other women, so... why would that be the case for me? it feels pretty good to feel good today.

mrs. BAUMbach, mrs. BAUMbach

dudes !!! yesterday around 3pm there was a huge storm in philly. i didn't think that much of it, because i'm from florida- it lasted about 20 minutes tops with wind and hail and torrential rain but like... again, that happens several times a day every day all summer in florida ! i didn't think it was a huge deal, but when i went outside there were tree branches and fallen trees everywhere on penn's campus ! when i got home, i saw that there was a giant tree bough in our power lines and everyone was outside, which i correctly guessed meant our power was out.


the corner of my street

i talked to my neighbors and heard that the electric company had no estimated repair window, so i called mouse to ask if i could stay over and packed an overnight bag and headed to milk and honey to use their air conditioning and internet until mouse was home. unfortunately, everyone else also had that idea and i ended up sitting in a random table-less chair eating an ice cream cone while a 5 year old stared at me in pure jealousy and contempt as her mom tried to make her eat food that wasn't an ice cream cone.

after that, mouse and i walked over to clark park to check out the devastation. it was pretty crazy- TONS of trees were down, like 100+ year old trees, with random dudes with chainsaws cutting them up for firewood. here's a mixture of pictures mouse and i took (his are the real pictures, mine are the camera phone ones):


people climbing on two downed trees


mouse trying to pet a dog


boughs surrounding the world's only charles dickens statue


kids climbing on trees


another downed tree at the 43rd and baltimore entrance of the park

we went over to mouse's afterward and he made spaghetti (i wasn't hungry cause, um, i ate an ice cream cone) and then we ate a ton of watermelon and watched tv. at this point i was getting really cranky because i hateeeee not sleeping at my house, but mouse was being reallllllly accommodating and cool and nice (not that he isn't usually, but he totally doesn't usually put up with my tantrums). we walked back to my house to check if the power was back on, and it totally wasn't, so we went back to his house and went to bed. this was at like, 10pm, which is roughly four hours earlier than i usually go to bed (mouse and i have very different lifestyles, though if i didn't have cable or video games i'd go to bed at like 5pm).


early to bed !

soooooooo at around 2am, the heat in his building started BLASTING. he said that they were hotter than they'd ever been in the winter ! at around 4, it woke mouse up, so he put wet towels and a blanket on top of the radiator. that helped for awhile, but around 5am it became unbearable so i gathered up my stuff and went home. i felt bad leaving him in the disgusting heat, but i had to get out. the power was back on at my house, but our internet and cable were out, so i got bored and came into work super early. now i'm going to leave early because i've been here foreverrrrrr.

comcast (the worst !) is sending a technician to check out my cables since they say the service interruption in my area was fixed. it's obvious that like... a cable is loose somewhere because the picture on the tv/internet/phone service kept flickering in and out, so hopefully they can find the problem without me being there, causeeeee i'm at work.

i have no real plans this weekend. hopefully my internet will be fixed and i can play some video games? other than that, i want to:

- straighten up my room
- do my reading for my history class (it hasn't started yet, but the instructor suggested we do it in advance)
- work on my craft swap scarf (and possibly go pick up 2 more balls of noro kureyon for it at loop)
- hang out with christina if she finishes her paper (my baby's first class is almost over !)

what else? i just got a few cheap summer dresses with an old navy 30% off coupon.


i'm going to remove that belt and wear a wide black belt with it


also going to wear a wide belt with this

i don't care about clothes still, but i'm trying to dress like a normal person at work. i think most clothing looks weird on me (because all plus size clothing options suck) but wide stretchy belts have really opened a lot of doors for me cause now i can just wear whatever... belted.

okay i'm gonna go do a mild amount of work and complain about my crappy night to coworkers to get sympathy !

i'm free

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's over ! it's finally over ! i had to work all weekend, which is kind of a bummer, because i'm already back at work and i feel like i just left work. on thursday we set everything up, and registration opened on friday. we were in a new building with much more space, but there were some logistical problems there (like, we had to use their wireless, which blew, and WE had a lot less room because of how the tables were set up), but it ended up being okay. generally the registration team are cool people (not a coincidence, since i have to be there with them all weekend and pick the team based on who i'd want to hang out with for 25 hours). i was there til 10pm, but we had free food and a good pandora playlist which was basically like a really good oldies station, so it wasn't too bad.



on saturday, i worked from 7 to 6:30, which was kind of brutal. saturday was super, super, super busy and that was the day we had some difficult people. i think everything worked out okay, but registration closed at 4pm and people were hounding me until 6:30, chasing me down while i was carrying big armloads of stuff and big awkward sign posts, etc. i thought i would never get out of there and i was super exhausted ! but at a quarter to 7 i headed home and met up with christina, who was also exhausted from volunteering at a girls rock philly related event and hanging out with amber at art star. so jealous ! if i wasn't working i definitely would have gone.



we both decided to "take a nap" at 9pm and we both woke up at 4am. we IM'd each other for a minute, and then christina went back to sleep. i ended up sleeping from 7am-11am or so. jeez. i guess i took for granted the amount that a few extra hours of sleep on saturday morning counts since i didn't get it that day.

when we got up, i leveled solanas to 60 and did part of zul'gurub with paul. i've never really seen any of the bosses besides the raptor and tiger bosses so that was kinda cool ! then christina and i went to target. i wasn't really sure if i needed anything, but i thought i'd check out their plus size section because i saw a few cute/wearable things online. guess what though, guys ! the plus size section was 2 racks of clothing, unmarked, in the middle of maternity. it was like 3 cardigans, a sundress, 4 pairs of stretch pants, and maybe one ugly rayon dress?


above: some bullshit

i might actually like... write them a letter about it? philadelphia is a fat city, and there was like 2309823 fat people at target, and i think if they actually had all of the nice stuff they have online in the store, attractively presented and marked with a sign, people would buy it? the target on delaware avenue is kind of a mess anyway, but like... why should a maternity section be so expansive compared to a plus size section? so many more people are fat than pregnant. and why should the plus size section be in the center of maternity? i did buy this dress online from them last week with a gift card, and i hope it works out:



we also went to the grocery store, and then came home and chilled out for a little bit. i guess the most exciting thing (if exciting is the right word) is that i guess i'm quitting warcraft. my last friend who played (who i played with most often) canceled his account and uninstalled the game, and there isn't really much for me to do now


RIP harridan

i have very mixed mostly bad emotions about this right now because like... that's what i did to avoid all of my real life problems ! and now i don't have an excuse/crutch anymore ! like, i really really do genuinely enjoy playing, but i did play slightly more than i'd be naturally inclined to because it was like... something to do where i was interacting with friends but didn't have to leave the house. i'm not even sure how to talk about it because people are so weird about warcraft (like, somehow think it's nerdier than other video games or that people get ADDICTED !!!!!!!!! to it and a couple in china let their baby DIE while they were playing and omgomgomgomg) but the reality is that it's like... a video game that is fun, and everyone plays video games.

full disclosure, though i hate discounting my feelings because of hormones- i actually forgot to take my birth control for 3 days so i think i'm having a uh, heightened emotional reaction. i'm bummed that i won't get to talk to those friends as much, if at all, and i'm bummed that i'm going to have all of this dangerous time to think about eating disorder stuff and general weird hide-y feelings where i want to stay in my house all the time.



and not to segue from my crappy year of depression to OMG HAYYYYY but while i was at work this weekend, the bottom of my rootote split. after looking for a similarly huge bag online and not finding anything i loved (annnnnd not wanting to pay $45 for another rootote- i got my other one for $14.99), christina offered to make me a tote bag. she let me pick out fabric from her... fabrics, and i picked these:


green corduroy outside


this amy butler stuff inside

i'm pretty excited because the bags she makes are the shit. if she has time, she's going to make some to sell, and i'll let you dogs know what the deal is.

list of things i can do instead of being a hermit
- hang out with christina more
- hang out with mouse more and GO TO HIS HOUSE
- ride my bike and go outside more
- make new girlfriends
- go look at the dogs at the dog bowl
- do stuff like read and knit, but OUTSIDE
- volunteer somewhere

okay, i'm going to go because i have a ton of stuff to do today- it's taken me like three hours to write this cause i keep getting interrupted ! bleh !

p.s. big ups to christina for lending me her blanky and alpaca when i was crying last night !
p.p.s. jeanne and mouse are both back today and i'm soooooooooooo psyched. jeanne saw so many good animals in colombia and apparently, according to text, mouse "hugged a naked lady".

the absurdity of plus size clothing

"you know you want to fuck a toucan. it's every man's dream."