what's up guys? i haven't really done much the past couple of days besides go to class and do my homework. german is actually getting pretty hard because i cannot make my brain understand the difference between the cases. like, i know what to DO for each case, but i don't know how to tell if something is nominative/dative/accusative. i give up. history is okay, despite two weeks of group work where i got grouped with the same dude who is like... intent on denying the contribution of women to american history and talking about how our female professor is WRONG and the female writers are WRONG.
in the words of mary wollstonecraft, "fuck you, ballbag !"
i have german homework every night this week and next week, a big german essay to write, a german voice presentation (which is basically just reading the essay), a german interview with someone who isn't my professor, and a final exam. for history, i have to answer a discussion question TODAY, watch the lectures, do the reading, do one more timeline essay, do some more little online questions, and then do a final exam. i'm totally fucking swamped and i'm procrastinating like crazy !
last night while doing some reading, i actually got choked up because i hate andrew jackson so much, so today's (very brief, cause i have studying to do) lesson is about how andrew jackson is the fucking worst.
you may know him as the $20 bill guy, or maybe OLD HICKORY, but what you should really associate andrew jackson with is the indian removal act and the trail of tears (a genocidal relocation of native peoples so we could take their shit, in case you missed middle school history). during the war of 1812 he killed a shit ton of native americans, and during the first seminole war he went into spanish territory and killed a shit ton more of native americans (which is significant because it was totally illegal and fucked up). he then went on to basically be the forerunner of anti-intellectualism in the united states who fiercely defended the idea that his racist hunches were better and righter and more noble than fancy book learning. and um, here is a quote from his first state of the union address that is one of the grossest things i've ever read:
What good man would prefer a country covered with forests and ranged by a few thousand savages to our extensive Republic, studded with cities, towns, and prosperous farms, embellished with all the improvements which art can devise or industry execute, occupied by more than 12,000,000 happy people, and filled with all the blessings of liberty, civilization, and religion?
blehh. i fucking hate him ! why is he on money ! why do ATMs only give $20 bills ! here's what i'm using instead of $20s now:
um, on a lighter note, that beautiful dress i got fit perfectly and looked great on me and is my favorite thing ever
and it comes in several other beautiful colors that would look great on me:
but i'm not sure what to do about my most recent ethical quandry about target. like, most of us have pretended that target is better than walmart because they are like 20% less soulsucking, community-destroying, and unethical, plus they have cuter stuff. it's cool, i'm not perfect, this is an inconsistency on my part and i probably should do more than half-heartedly acknowledge it. recently, though, the store donated $150,000 to a political candidate who is homophobic and aggressively supports homophobic legislation, as well being affiliated with a band who supports the violent extermination of gay people (and um, see above for my feelings about violent exterminations of people).
here's the rub, though: target is one of two clothing stores that sell clothes in my size. there are a handful more that sell plus size clothing, but most are $30-$100 a piece, whereas most clothing at target (and the other store, old navy) is below $30. they also have reasonably cute clothing, an extreme rarity for plus size women, who very rarely get the opportunity to feel comfortable and attractive and cute in clothing, with target's clothing being slightly more well-made (presumably because their child workforce is more disciplined? i hate life). but, that brings me to another point- why is it important for me to look or dress cute? why do i care about that? i know why i SHOULDN'T, so why do i?
anyway, i don't know what i'm getting at here. if i look at this like cute dresses vs. being an ally for my fellow human beings, the choice is easy. if i bring in a bunch of other complicated stuff about being fat/plus size clothing/socialization/consumption, it seems slightly more complicated. i guess my conclusion for now is that you should throw red paint on me if i end up buying those dresses, but i'm going to try not to.