Friday, February 26, 2010

the only way to get it is to s, or f, or be poor and devoid and mb me

i'm going to get the good things from yesterday out of the way so i can talk about this horrible book i read. the first good thing is that i almost totally finished my mittens.


i still have to do the thumbs, which i will probably take thirty years to do, but i'm super proud of myself. my first mittens ! they aren't for me, though, they're for a trade, so i'll probably make them again at some point for myself since they were such a quick knit. my next project (probably also for the trade- i'm just making this person a bunch of stuff !) is this scarf:


the other main important good thing is that bill and christina brought me gelato while i was raiding ! they stopped at capo giro on the way home and got me a cup of half dark chocolate, half avocado (my favorite combination- i also like half dark chocolate, half single malt scotch).

this is actually half nutella, half pistachio from a year or two ago but SAME COLORZ

our raid went okay, too, but we had a less than optimal group (24 players instead of 25, and some dead weight). we got extremely lucky on festergut and then had a shitty time wiping on rotface, finally downing him on our last attempt


okay, now it is time to talk about the horrible book i read. i don't think i've read a truly horrible book since twilight (one of the worst books ever- written like a 12 year old writing fan fiction, full of misogyny and basically a manual for teen girls on domestic abuse and abusive relationships and how romantic they are), but this one was more of a disappointment because i didn't expect it to be so stupid.

liar by justine larbalestier

the premise of this book is that the narrator is a pathological liar who is trying to come clean to the reader, but finding it nearly impossible. for the first third of the book, her narrative is unreliable and inconsistent as she tells the story of who she is (including hints at a mysterious "family illness"), how her lying has gotten her in trouble, and how her "boyfriend" (really, the popular guy who made her, a "weird" ugly duckling, his "secret girlfriend") was found murdered in central park. for that first third, you're on the edge of your seat, wondering what's true and what isn't, wondering if micah (the narrator) killed her boyfriend as she promises over and over again that she isn't lying to you, while admitting lies here and there. it was engaging and exciting and a unique experience to not be able to trust the person telling you their story.

oh, by the way, i'm going to ruin the book for you now so if you were planning to read it, stop reading.

so after this exciting first third, we reach the second third, and micah reveals the "family illness" and the entire rest of the book is her lying about being a fucking werewolf. that's right ! after the engaging, awesome, interesting, real first third where an exciting whodunit is set up, it becomes a really involved and totally fucking boring book about someone lying about being a werewolf. like obviously since she's a liar and werewolves are fake, she's just lying about being a werewolf, and it is not interesting at all to read about someone telling you an obvious lie, and then there is no reveal of what REALLY HAPPENED, sooooooo the story is basically like, who knows what happens cause lol i'm a warewolf guise !!!!!@!$#$4. it's like the author had this amazing idea for a book and then when she wrote a third of it, the second twilight book with the werewolves came out and she was like, "oh shit dog i'm doing a werewolf book !!!!!!!"

i really wanted to like this book- the way the author describes it makes it sound amazing, none of the reviews i read mention the werewolf bullshit- i just feel totally snowed. the author (a white australian poindexter lady) writes a mixed race american teenager from new york city super authentically, and sets up what could be an amazing story- there are hints at gender identity problems, hints at her accidentally killing her brother, hints at being assaulted, etc. and the author chooses to cop out and turn the story from believable lies to fantasy bullshit for no reason. the author has written some cool teen fantasy books and wrote a non-fiction book about women in science fiction (jen t. have you read it?) but this was not a cool fantasy book ! it was bullshit and i hate it and i'm mad.

hey guys. i'm gonna go get a v8.


  1. i was reading a review of that book yesterday because i am taking a class about books for teens! i thought it sounded dumb because i hate all unreliable narrators. but that woman does seem really good. she is also married to scott westerfeld, who wrote a lot of other really popular YA books, which are TOTALLY AWESOME, according to my 13 year old sister.

  2. i actually have considered reading some of his books ! they look very stupid but entertaining. i really liked the narrator at first because it was like.. a kind of interesting take on a mystery. but then it became like, AWOOOOOOOOO I'M A WEREWOLF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD IT'S HARD TO BE A WEREWOLF and it was like reading two different books !

  3. Geez, when I read that about the werewolf my jaw seriously dropped. WHAT THE HAIL.

  4. yeah, like... i want to write to the author and IMPLORE her to rewrite the rest of the book or something. i want to know what happens to the characters in the first part of that story. pathological liars who are not 8 years old don't lie about being werewolves, and it went from like.. slightly fictionalized versions of her daily life (like, saying someone kissed her but she actually kissed them, saying her last day with someone was hanging out in a park but she actually saw them again later, etc.) to stuff that must have been ENTIRELY fiction not based on events in her life. ughhhh.