i knit i jah

guys ! i totally was sick, so my whole weekend was a bust. well, that's not true, i guess just saturday was a bust.

on friday, i got home from work intending to hunker down and do some knitting but my knitpicks order didn't come. in protest i like, went to bed at 10pm which is the earliest i've ever gone to bed since elementary school. i woke up at 5am though and that is the boringest most lonely time ever. i'll never make that mistake again !

on saturday, i went grocery shopping and got stuff to make meyer lemon orange lemonade with a new lemonade method. i zested a navel orange, a bunch of meyer lemons, and two regular lemons, and juiced them. then i put the zest in a dish with sugar over it and poured boiling water over it to dissolve it.



once it cooled, i strained it and added the liquid to the lemon/orange juice and added some plain cold water to it. overall i think it was pretty good but like, i don't really like orange lemonade so i should've just made regular lemonade. when i was done, i took the garbage out and got stabbed by a piece of glass that was in the garbage bag for some reason. oh my goddddddddd. i'm completely not grossed out by the human body but it was the third grossest injury i've ever gotten.



it looked like someone ripped apart a piece of latex with a hook. that's the only way i can describe it- my skin was just like, ripped open. i could see my arm intestines or whatever ! it doesn't really hurt though for some reason and barely bled?

after all that, my knitpicks order WAS there, so i started making some socks for mouse. by the way, at that point i'd bailed on going to mouse's show and going to the fights because i was sick (his friend who was fighting won in the first round by rnc !), so it was just me and shitty cable tv and yarn. so like, socks take fucking forever to knit? why does anyone do this? just buy socks ! i'm going to persevere because i want mouse to finally have something i knitted, and also because it won't be sock weather for like, eight months, so i have time, but i probably spent like 6 hours on it and i just have a cuff and two pattern repeats. which is like 2.5 inches of sock.


i really need to use my real camera for stuff like this

mouse came over after the fights to bring me some butterfly bandages (pictured above) and bandaged my cut. an eagle scout is like, the next best thing after a doctor ! he stuck around and ate some food for awhile and we watched the twistiest turniest SVU ever


ann-margret and jaclyn smith played sexy old ladies who did stuff or something

after mouse left, i unfortunately put on saturday night live in time to see tina fey be a total shitty anti-feminist sellout ! you guys know it isn't news that i'm continually bummed that 30 rock includes more and more rape jokes and more and more "lololol fat !!!!" jokes and stuff, and that tina fey did that totally fucking asinine vogue interview that made me think she is the dumbest person ever, butttttt



i tuned in just in time to hear tina fey go on a rant about what a skanky slutty skanky whore the woman jesse james cheated with is. like a poisonous vicious WEIRD rant about it, in her women's news update. i'd like to remind tina fey that SHE WROTE A FUCKING MOVIE WHERE SHE GAVE HER CHARACTER THIS LINE:

Ms. Norbury: Ok, so we’re all here ‘cause of this book, right? Well, I don’t know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores

like, it's bad enough that she said all of that, but as angie points out, she did it on the episode with justin bieber when like every pre-teen girl is staying up late to watch. like blah blah it's hard to be a famous woman blah blah but stop selling out other women to get famous and make men laugh you fucking turd !

anyyyyyyyway. on sunday, mike came down and we picked up mouse with the intention of going to that cherry blossom festival, but we missed the samurai sword demonstration and parking was atrocious- like, too atrocious to deal with for a festival that would not include a samurai sword demonstration. like, trees are cool, but japanese house ALWAYS has trees ! i'm also not really sorry we missed it because i forgot that it would be overrun by creepy japanophiles !



so we went to capo giro instead. i got half pistachio half chocolate and we shared a bench and read an issue of mad magazine



then i watched mike and mouse box each other (really, i was just in charge of the timer, i was knitting) and then we got indian buffet. then mike came back to my house and diana and nnamdi came over and we hung out til midnight ! i guess that wasn't too bad considering i was sick.

christina is coming back from boston today and i truly wish i'd kept the apartment neater ! all my lemonade dishes are still in the sink. i'm really excited to see her though because i feel like it's been an eternity. i'm sure pizza feels worse because christina is her #1 bud. i wish i could be home for their reunion.

p.s. animals are cool. my friend went to lakota wolf preserve this weekend and i'm so jealous. jeanne and i are scheming ways to get there now even though neither of us drive !

the only way to get it is to s, or f, or be poor and devoid and mb me

i'm going to get the good things from yesterday out of the way so i can talk about this horrible book i read. the first good thing is that i almost totally finished my mittens.



i still have to do the thumbs, which i will probably take thirty years to do, but i'm super proud of myself. my first mittens ! they aren't for me, though, they're for a trade, so i'll probably make them again at some point for myself since they were such a quick knit. my next project (probably also for the trade- i'm just making this person a bunch of stuff !) is this scarf:



the other main important good thing is that bill and christina brought me gelato while i was raiding ! they stopped at capo giro on the way home and got me a cup of half dark chocolate, half avocado (my favorite combination- i also like half dark chocolate, half single malt scotch).


this is actually half nutella, half pistachio from a year or two ago but SAME COLORZ

our raid went okay, too, but we had a less than optimal group (24 players instead of 25, and some dead weight). we got extremely lucky on festergut and then had a shitty time wiping on rotface, finally downing him on our last attempt



okay, now it is time to talk about the horrible book i read. i don't think i've read a truly horrible book since twilight (one of the worst books ever- written like a 12 year old writing fan fiction, full of misogyny and basically a manual for teen girls on domestic abuse and abusive relationships and how romantic they are), but this one was more of a disappointment because i didn't expect it to be so stupid.


liar by justine larbalestier

the premise of this book is that the narrator is a pathological liar who is trying to come clean to the reader, but finding it nearly impossible. for the first third of the book, her narrative is unreliable and inconsistent as she tells the story of who she is (including hints at a mysterious "family illness"), how her lying has gotten her in trouble, and how her "boyfriend" (really, the popular guy who made her, a "weird" ugly duckling, his "secret girlfriend") was found murdered in central park. for that first third, you're on the edge of your seat, wondering what's true and what isn't, wondering if micah (the narrator) killed her boyfriend as she promises over and over again that she isn't lying to you, while admitting lies here and there. it was engaging and exciting and a unique experience to not be able to trust the person telling you their story.

oh, by the way, i'm going to ruin the book for you now so if you were planning to read it, stop reading.

so after this exciting first third, we reach the second third, and micah reveals the "family illness" and the entire rest of the book is her lying about being a fucking werewolf. that's right ! after the engaging, awesome, interesting, real first third where an exciting whodunit is set up, it becomes a really involved and totally fucking boring book about someone lying about being a werewolf. like obviously since she's a liar and werewolves are fake, she's just lying about being a werewolf, and it is not interesting at all to read about someone telling you an obvious lie, and then there is no reveal of what REALLY HAPPENED, sooooooo the story is basically like, who knows what happens cause lol i'm a warewolf guise !!!!!@!$#$4. it's like the author had this amazing idea for a book and then when she wrote a third of it, the second twilight book with the werewolves came out and she was like, "oh shit dog i'm doing a werewolf book !!!!!!!"

i really wanted to like this book- the way the author describes it makes it sound amazing, none of the reviews i read mention the werewolf bullshit- i just feel totally snowed. the author (a white australian poindexter lady) writes a mixed race american teenager from new york city super authentically, and sets up what could be an amazing story- there are hints at gender identity problems, hints at her accidentally killing her brother, hints at being assaulted, etc. and the author chooses to cop out and turn the story from believable lies to fantasy bullshit for no reason. the author has written some cool teen fantasy books and wrote a non-fiction book about women in science fiction (jen t. have you read it?) but this was not a cool fantasy book ! it was bullshit and i hate it and i'm mad.

hey guys. i'm gonna go get a v8.