sooooo on friday they announced a major restructuring of my department (basically half of the department- not my half- is being moved to another group, and my half is changing names and taking on some events from a different area) in a meeting that i missed. i didn't have the energy to be anxious about it all weekend but now i'm back at work and everyone is whispering about it and that is making me anxious. we're having a meeting at 11 to "discuss our questions and concerns." my concern is not so much what is happening but like, if i will still have a job at the end of the fiscal year. it's like... 99% likely that i will, but my worry is that my job will change so much that i will hate it. oh well, can't do anything about it now.

i had a very full weekend ! friday was the opening of mike and jeanne's art show at part time studios in fishtown, so mouse and i went down there. their show was sea-junk themed and everything both of them made was absolutely stunning.



i'm really proud of both of them. fishtown is... weird, i basically never go there and didn't even realize this block was there, but there was a little block of galleries and junk (including the fabled coffee shop that biz lives over ! where i... saw two of my coworkers? it was like seeing bugs bunny in real life or something). fishtown is full of weird people who look like aliens who heard tell of earth hipsters and tried to emulate their look without the use of the earth internet, so there was lots of weird flapper clothes, giant feathers in peoples' hair, and slouchy socks. i also saw at least two bolo ties. the gallery was pretty crowded because it was first friday, so i got to very briefly see and barely talk to a lot of people i like. here are my two favorite things from the show:


unfortunately i don't have a full picture of this, but it is a beautiful melusine by jeanne


a leviathan by mike !!!! my actualllll favorite of his was this tiny fiji mermaid but this is my other favorite

afterward, mouse and i went to whole foods and i came home, where i went to bed surprisingly early to avoid cleaning my apartment for company this weekend.

on saturday, i procrastinated so hard i actually played windows solitaire (i use cumulative scoring so i end up in the hole, and always think one more game will get me back in the black), but ended up doing an okay job cleaning my room and getting my laundry together and getting some of my junk off of the couch. my friend brian from connecticut was in town, and luckily was up for a bunch of stationary back pain fun. we got indian buffet and gelato and then watched the naked gun, which i just realized is available on netflix instant !



it kind of fell apart from there because, as you know, there is basically nothing good on netflix instant, but it was fun. i ended up actually going to sleep early, which is sort of a bummer because i go to sleep at 4am on work nights, but i slept for like ten hours, which is unheard of. i think it might be due to the fact that roxy jr. didn't sleep in my room and it was raining so it was like super dark in my bedroom.

oh yeah ! i introduced pizza to roxy jr. on saturday too !



they are not really getting along yet- lots of hissing and growling, though surprisingly pizza seems to be the alpha (do cats have alphas?) and roxy jr. immediately backs down. no real fighting or confrontations, but no grooming and cuddling yet. oh wellllllllll.

on sunday, i met up with brian, christina, nick, and sandi at local 44 for brunch. christina had gone up to nyc to see wild flag with nick and sandi, and then brought them back to see wild flag here. local 44 was kind of disappointing (righttttt after i updated my yelp reviewwwwwwww)- bland bloody marys and the removal of vegetarian disco fries from the menu was pretty heartbreaking. nothing really looked too appealing on the menu, so i chose the new menu item replacing the disco fries with eggs on top that i had last time- weird spicy french fries with eggs on top. i'm not sure why i got this because i'm not really wild about french fries, but it was pretty gross- the fries were super super super super salty, they didn't taste hot at all, and they were pretty dessicated. also the eggs were the size of peanuts.

i tricked everyone into going to cvs with me afterward to get cat supplies, and i also treated myself to some nail polish-


rimmel hot cocoa, purple rain, and steel gray

and then came back home and hung out with nick and sandi while christina napped, and then *i* napped, and then they all went to see wild flag again (i'm bummed that i didn't try to go to this- my back was so messed up when christina strongly urged me to go see them that i thought i'd never be able to go, but it looked fucking amazing and i love mary timony and ahhhhhhhhh). after they got home i had some wonderful drunk bonding with them all, and then watched futurama in bed until it was time to go to sleep- 2am, still pretty early !

so, overall, good weekend. not much on the horizon this week except lots of work, hanging out with mouse, maybe going to ryann's show at the bean if i can make it (the walking junk is still pretty tedious), introducing jeanne to roxy jr, blah blah.

p.s. i love nick and sandi
p.p.s. work is stressful right now

back on the chain gang

man. i really want to go get a latte but i keep forgetting and putting on this disgusting minted rose lip balm. i accidentally bought it instead of regular smith's rosebud salve :(



what a weekend ! on friday, christina and i went to south philly to go to target and the pet store to get ready for the new cat. my back was bothering me and we were both exhausted, so it wasn't thatttttt exciting of a trip. i got TP for our bungholes, and dish soap, and a pet hair roller, and some cat food. i'm trying very hard to switch pizza to wet food, specifically wellness brand (when she and weirdo ate this together, her dander and shedding reduced by like 100%), but she hates pate style cat food. i got a few of the wellness pouches to see if she liked them, and she does, buttttttt feeding instructions indicate that she would need five pouches a fucking day !



i think i'm going to try giving her a mix of the wellness wet food and wellness dry food and see if that helps. it will certainly be cheaper than like, $6/day which is more than i spend to feed myself (not counting coffee) per day. i alsoooooooo met up with jeanne's friend jim (MY friend jim now !) who lives on my block and was kind enough to lend me his cat carrier for my trip the next day.

on saturday, christina and i woke up at 6:30am (after both falling asleep at 4:30am) and drove to brooklyn to get my new cat ! we met up with nick and sandi and their friend hanna first at hope and anchor in red hook for brunch. i got a bloody mary (bloody roxy/roxy mary), which was pretty intense (very horseradishy, very strong, pickled asparagus spear, olives, etc !!!!)



but i was pretty disappointed about the other food i ordered. i had a breakfast burrito, which was actually like... 8lbs of breakfast food rolled in a tortilla, which two open ends. it was so gigantic and wasn't meant to be picked up, and it was a big disappointment because i had to basically dissect it to eat it. i also got a root vegetable hash which should have been good, but it was unevenly cooked and underseasoned. i also tried some of their french toast, and it was mediocre. buttttttttttttt i got to see nick and sandi, who are my favorites, and i got to see my old buddy milo, who is just eyes:



after thattttt we went to go pick up my new cat. his previous owners were very nice and gracious and friendly, and seemed sad to see him go (they have toddlers who are just learning to walk, and his personality does not go with that- more on that later). his name was mr. puffins, which... i changed immediately, though his previous owner calling him "puffy" seems to have stuck as a nickname because i keep calling him that ! anyway, meet roxy jr.:



i haven't had a chance to take any good pictures yet, but he's like... the most beautiful animal i've ever seen in person. he has blue eyes (no, he isn't deaf) and the pinkest nose and the longest, silkiest coat. that's the good news. the bad news is that he quite possibly has the world's worst personality? he isn't just getting adjusted or anything, he seems generally pretty comfortable, so i think this is him ! he likes to curl up right next to you and be petted ON HIS HEAD ONLY for less than 10 seconds, and if you touch his body or pet his head for 11 seconds, he starts hissing and growling and swats at you and bites you. this is pretty hilarious because he's wearing soft paws and he only has one tooth. he kind of sadly gums your hand and then gives up.

so far i think it's pretty funny, but i wonder if it will bum me out that i'm now saddled with my dream cat and he fucking hates me. at least he wants to sit next to me all the time? but is that any consolation? because of the forbidden fruit aspect.



i was super exhausted when we got home, so i took a short nap, and then mouse, meesh, and brendan came over to take a look at the cat. he didn't disappoint- he walked around rubbing against everyone's legs and growling like a crazy person !

on sundayyyy, mouse and i went to adobe in manayunk, where i, for some reason ordered a taco pizza? it was pretty rough, i was only able to eat about two of the triangles. i never actually think about what i'm ordering at restaurants and usually end up hating what i get- in this instance, i was like "well i like tacos, and i like pizza"



we had fun, though- he also helped me run some errands (because of my back)- i dropped my laundry off, bought more aleve, and went grocery shopping (this week's breakfast/lunch menu: cherry greek yogurt and granola, string cheese, cinnamon applesauce, carrots, oranges, and bean burritos. baby food !). it was also nice to hang out with him, because i hadn't in a million years.

soooo. yup. my back is still pretty hopelessly fucked- i can get around and stuff, but every morning the pain resets and it takes a lot to get going. i made an appointment last month with an orthopedic guy, but the earliest available appointment was march 24, so i have another month of miseryyyy. it gets worse on the weekends because i sleep more and sit at a desk less (oddly, sitting at a desk really helps), so i'm already feeling a lot better today.

okay, i have to go do some work !!!

p.s. i'm seeing jonathan richman tomorrow, and i totally forgot ! pleasant surprise.

cool thoughts on the present situation

first ! christine, brooke, and i started our history blog, cool thoughts. the name is based on a document brooke and i saw at the benjamin franklin underground museum called cool thoughts on the present situation of our public affairs (authored by one benjamin franklin, alias mrs. silence dogood), and the blog is woefully located on tumblr because the name "cool thoughts" is literally taken everywhere else, and is mostly parked domains or blogs of like, "confucious say..." shit and doors quotes. alas ! anyway, the purpose of the blog is for us to post anything we are reading about or interested in throughout history, in any format, whenever we want. if you'd like to contribute something (anything !), please send it to coolthoughts@nervous.org.



one of my main goals here is to get comfortable talking about things i know about< without the crippling fear of being wrong or considered "not smart enough"- this is a problem many people have, i'm sure, but women specifically are made to feel intellectually inferior or like they have to apologize for or soften their opinions. it may not seem like i have a big problem with this if you know me, but it's something i struggle with every day- especially in regard to my lack of formal education.

what else ! i've been taking an ill-advised break from reading for the past few days because my brain needed a break, which means i'm going to have to really and sincerely bust ass all weekend to get everything done. i have a research proposal, a few essays, and a rough draft for my genocide paper due. i'm actually waiting for my professor's feedback for the rough draft- she's really awesome but can be a little slow with stuff over e-mail, and our class meeting is canceled this week. anyway, i've been mostly farting around watching simpsons dvds, and it's been... heavenly.


i only have seasons 5-9

i also ended up breaking down and buying cataclysm, the next world of warcraft expansion. i am waffling about whether or not i want to play- like, i just don't have time for wow anymore with school, and i have mixed feelings about the new 10 man raiding structure. like, i love the dudes (and two women) i play with, but i often found myself being the 11th man when 10 mans were forming up previously. i'm not the most amazing player, but i was better than some other people who were chosen, and that was because i had a lot of personality conflicts with some shitty random norms in the guild (like a handful of idiot privilege denyin' dudes who wanted to be able to call women bitches and stuff). luckily those dudes were sort of phased out or alienated (by me !) so there's a small chance things will be different now, but who knows? yesterday was a patch day, and the world was ripped apart and orgrimmar was redesigned, and everything honestly looks pretty cool. i also saved the name astralweeks for a goblin shaman. sigh. i really like this fucking game, who am i kidding.



what else ! oh ! nick and sandi are coming today ! sandi told me not to eat anything in anticipation of a family dinner? which is exciting and also easy to do because i'm only at work for 3 hours today and i forgot to bring lunch and also i have zero groceries that aren't thanksgiving ingredients (actually i have some trader joe's burritos i guess). i'm excited to see them because it's been figuratively forever. also i get to bro down with christina, who just got back from san francisco.

my plans for the break? cooking, hanging out, thanksgiving with jeanne and mike, reading, writing, agonizing, procrastinating, simpsons, history, internet. i gotta get some work done in my last 30 minutes at work, though, so.. ttyl. happy thanksgiving !

love those wildwood days

what's up dogs ! this weekend was kind of brutal because our internet is fucked up ! it was out for the majority of the weekend, so i had to watch dvds and regular cable and knit and read like a CAVEPERSON.

on friday, mouse came over to watch the phillies game. it was pretty great, except for our catcher getting obliterated by a broken bat. poor chooch !


looking at these pictures still makes me all choked up !

on saturday, christina and i went to loop to look at yarn for the craft swap i entered. the entrelac scarf calls for a variegated yarn, and i don't really like varigated yarns so i was a little apprehensive, but all the noro yarns came in beautiful colors. i got noro kureyon 250 for the craft swap project:


noro kureyon #250

and weirdly fell in love with this one for myself:


noro taiyo #8

i wasn't going to get the second yarn for myself, but i got $5 off and couldn't pass it up... even though i'm realizing more and more that really, i REALLY do hate variegated yarn and have no idea what i'd make with it ! that said, i started on the entrelac scarf for the swap and the pattern is like the most fun ever to knit.


it's much brighter in person, like the yarn above

i'm very concerned that it's too art teachery and patchworky and "crafty" looking. like, that look is the exact opposite of everything i like so i can't tell objectively if it's something that a young cool person would think was cool and would actually wear? but it's blue, purple, and geometric !

christina and i went to new jersey on saturday afternoon to pick up nick and sandi (he was there for his grandma's birthday party !) and take them back to philly ! !!!!! we had the best time, though i was feeling kind of sick so i wasn't my usual super exciting entertaining really cool self. we went out to vientiane for dinner and by'd our ob (one 950mL bottle of la fin du monde is enough to do me in now because i never drink anymore !). instead of getting tofu lad na, like i always do, i got the crazy pineapple fried rice. it was okay, i guess.


like this, but with white rice. and no peppers. and more vegetables. and not as pretty !

after dinner we got dessert treats from the gas station (they didn't have any fudgicles or choco tacos, so sandi and i were bummed, respectively) and went back to our house to watch movies and be weird. nick and sandi are the best and i hope they move here and live here forever and i get to keep them and marry themmmmm. what?

on sunday, our internet worked intermittently, so i spent most of the day knitting and watching the second season of party down. it definitely isn't as good as the first season (less ken marino and no jane lynch !) and i don't know if i've actually laughed at much, but i enjoy the story and the characters enough that it doesn't matter? also i'm romantically in love with lizzy caplan.



i do find it suspicious though that she's a comedian on the show but they don't really give her any funny lines? i guess cause she's miserable and hates her life and job?

ahhh, what else? i'm starting to get preliminary junk for my summer classes (which start july 6) and i'm really, really nervous. we're getting our router replaced on tuesday, but what if my internet goes out ! what if i don't remember how to write papers ! what if i can't manage my time effectively in an online class ! i know i'm an adult now (unlike the first time i went to college when i was like, 18) and i have way more tools to keep me organized now, and even as a dumb irresponsible teenager i did most of my work on time.


a stock photo of the typical college student

i've spent so much time lately with literally nothing going on that i feel really easily overwhelmed at the thought of suddenly having a few things to do. the classes are only six weeks long but i feel like i'm going into a convent or something because my evenings will be all tied up (well, from 7:30 - 8:45pm on MW and from 6:00pm to 8:45pm on TTh). i might try to make dinner after work with mouse and/or christina more often so we can hang out.

blahhhh i also just realized that this means i may not be able to play call of cthulhu with mike and co. depending on what day they do it ! school is the worst ! it's already making my life suck and i'll probably have to do it for like 6 more years !!!! blehhhh.


the stress is driving me mad !

i guess i should do some actual work now.

p.s. any time i see the phrase "male nurse" on wikipedia i edit it to just say "nurse".
p.p.s. i'm catsitting for the IT guy at work for the next two weeks, so look forward to some blurry cellphone pictures of ms. hoolie:



p.p.p.s. i just realized i haven't actually applied for the fall semester yet (summer semester is basically open to any employee without applying to the program) and i need to submit my application.

romeo and juliet

hey ! last night i went over to mouse's after work- we initially were going to watch pulp fiction, because christina hasn't seen it and she's like the #1 bruce willis fan of all time, but christina had to work late. we ended up watching the rescue, a doctor who two parter that introduces the second companion, the hilariously named vicki.



the basic story is that a human ship crashed onto the planet dido, and then a mysterious explosion killed all the native... didonians and humans, leaving only a teenage girl, vicki, and a jerk named barrett. barrett and vicki are being imprisoned by a weird space monster named koquillion, and barrett pressures vicki to be nice to koquillion so they can escape. because a rescue ship is coming to perform the titular rescue. the twist was pretty predictable, and sort of nonsensical, but the costume for koquillion was pretty awesome. the other great thing was that there was a scene where vicki is being descended upon by a sandbeast and barbara instinctively zaps him with a laser, and vicki bursts into tears and says, "you killed sandy !!!". cutest.


sandi jo mcsandmonster

mouse is cool. i'm glad i went to his house. he's been pretty accommodating since i've started being a weird hermit, about coming over to my house (i do have the superior movie watching tv, though !!!!) but i'm going to try to go over to his house more because i'm comfortable there and if i were him, i'd want to be able to hang out at home more too.

soooooo big plans for the weekend ! i'm going to like, hang hard and watch muppet things on my xbox ! christina and i set a brodown date for this evening, since she's been so busy with class and work lately and i've been like, hanging out in my room killing zombies. i assume we're going to eat dinner and get something stupid on payperview? and knit? i signed up for a craft swap on an online community i participate in, and of course i got this amazing woman who does amazing shit as my recipient. i have NO CLUE what to make her. i might try the pfeiffer falls hoooded scarf



or this entrelac scarf i found on ravelry if i can find a way to do it without spending $50.



i don't really have plans on saturday. nick and sandi may come down from nyc and hang out with us??? i've already promised to let them watch me play video games and i think they're like, beside themselves with excitement. okay, i'm gonna go do some junk.

p.s. don't forget father's day if you have a cool dad ! since i had a deadbeat dad and he recently croaked, i got my mom some reusable grocery bags with philadelphia scenes on them- they had them at the grocery store and they have beautiful photographs of all of her favorite shit here on both sides, and she loves reusable grocery bags ! haha.
p.p.s. hi

i've got you in my sights

what a good weekend ! on friday, nick and sandi came down from new york. christina and i met them at monk's (monk's on a friday night during happy hour times ahhhhhhh) and had the best time. i tried the seitan cheese steak and was kind of disappointed- it was hard to eat and had no real flavor besides "seitan". i'll stick with the antwerp burger from now on (vegan burger with sottocenare truffle cheese & shitake mushrooms) !


this is not the vegan burger

nick and sandi came back to our house after that and we drank the fancy, extremely bitter beers nick brought and had the best time ever but all i can really remember was we laughed a lot and painted our nails? i think we convinced them to move here though, which is awesome because nick is the best and sandi is like, the best cutest funniest.

on saturday, we ran some errands- we dropped off my laundry, went grocery shopping, and went to a.c. moore to get chewbacca and ewok fixins. the chewbacca pattern is pretty weird- she was like 'get rust and greyish silver variegated dk weight yarn !!!' but that's a magic thing that doesn't exist. i just got, uh, "brown". and i bought a million creepy eyes on etsy !


from (ahem) fashion diva crochet and 6060

then we came home and i watched some crocheting youtube videos and made a swatch and brushed it to see if i could get the furry effect needed for the chewbaccas:



i was worried because i had to get acrylic yarn, but it furred up nicely ! after nick and sandi left, mouse came over and we watched enemy at the gates, to continue our WWII kick.



it was... pretty silly but entertaining? i love that all the russian people had british accents and all the germans had british OR american accents but when people on either side spoke to each other they could all understand each other ! haha. i didn't have high expectations because mouse has been suggesting i see it for years but made no bones about it being anything but silly and entertaining. also, ed harris is totally a great nazi and joseph fiennes looks just like my brother ! i could have lived without seeing jude law get a siberian handjob though.

on sunday, i slept as much as possible. it was rainy and cold and miserable and i didn't feel like doing anything. mouse took me to get my laundry, and then christina and i made kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner ! i had that and morning star buffalo wings and v8 to celebrate remembering to pick up zantac so i can eat like that.



and ! the moment i've been waiting for since it was announced in 2007 ! mouse, christina, and i watched the first episode of the pacific !!!



some observations
- i will reserve judgement, but the pacing of the first episode seemed rushed. there's some dudes, some dudes went to guadalcanal, it looked like they were losing but they won, some other dudes came to guadalcanal, the end.
- the tom hanks narration at the beginning was a bummer but i guess necessary
- the characterization seems a little slim, and it's going to be tougher because it's based on the stories of three random people who don't really interact (sledge, leckie, and basilone) rather than the story of a company of buds
- we're basically 1-for-1 with the man's inhumanity to man thing (japanese soldier blowing up the medics, american soldiers taunting and torturing the japanese soldier)
- that one guy looks like stifler
- the characterization of leckie is really clumsy- they made him seem like a pretentious asshole that no one likes and are reallllly trying to drive home the fact that he likes to write
- some of the actors seem wayyyy too old
- tim from jurassic park as gene sledge !
- i'm confused as to why they cast a short non-italian dude as john basilone? i'm used to hollywood thinking that no one can tell the difference between an italian person and a hispanic person, but this is especially weird because the actor playing "manny rodriguez" looks a lot like the real john basilone?


basilone


the actor playing basilone


the actor playing manny rodriguez

overall, i was entertained, and i'm curious to see where they're going with it. it's hard to remember what my first impression of band of brothers was since i first saw it almost 10 years ago, so maybe i was reticent then, too.

anywayyyy hay guys.

p.s. at like 2am i got obsessed with how romantic "hungry eyes" is and even though i've barely seen dirty dancing all the youtube videos were clips from the movie and i was like, "godddd this movie looks so gooooooood."