ning ning ning nang ning nong ning nang

dudes i am having major allergies ! well, not major allergies- i'm actually more accurately having minor allergies- but i don't usually have seasonal allergies !!!! my sinuses are killing me and so are my teeth. blehhhh.

sooooooo i had my first real class last night. not to say my summer classes weren't *real*, but they were both online. i was really, really nervous and ended up being like 30 minutes early, andddddd of course it was a classroom with these crappy desks:



i don't know if thin people have to think about stuff like this, but these are like the bane of every fat person or big-boobed person's existence. there was a woman in my class with big boobs whose boobs were just like.. resting on the desk and taking up all available desk space. for me, they're just super uncomfortable and it's a three hour class, so i opted out and just sat at a little table in the front. everyyyyyyyy other classroom in the building just had long tables and chairs ! every classroom !



aside from that, the class was really fucking cool and interesting. like everything she said made my brain excited. the professor herself is extremely knowledgeable and engaging, and surprisingly (for a genocide class) kept laughing? i think it was a combination of enthusiasm and incredulity. the only problem is that it's a 400 level class? i didn't know.. levels.. was something, i guess, so i didn't pay attention (i don't know how to go to school !) so i consulted with her after class. she said she thinks i'll do great and that first years have taken her class and done well, and that she doesn't grade on a curve because she's really into individual improvement and development of work, and she isn't a stickler about paper deadlines.

i'm going to go to the writing center on campus because i'm a good writer generally, but don't remember how to write papers. we have ten one page papers and one ten page paper, and for the ten page paper we have to hand in our proposals, our outlines, and our rough drafts so she can guide us and make suggestions, and i think that will work perfectly for me. i'm still nervous though and afraid i'm in over my head.


here's a picture of raphael lemkin, because there's not a lot of fun genocide pictures to post in a blog

i'm going over to the bookstore in a minute to get my books and i'm going to treat myself to some school supplies. hoorayyyyy.

okay ! big news ! tonight is jeanne's show at benna's. the show is called unclean spirits and it's russian folklore stuff and everything looks fucking awesome. check out her blog for more pictures of everything. i think this is my favorite piece and the one i'm going to try to buy:



i'm so excited and super proud of her because everything looks so great and because she worked super hard on this. her work keeps getting better and better with every show ! alksdkjaskd jeanne. !!!!

alsooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo jess and laszlo are coming tonight and coming to the show with us ! i'm passing on my old laptop to jess so she's coming down to get it. which reminds me that i forgot to take all of my shit off of it so i'll have to do that tonight while everyone is sleeping.

this weekend is going to be cool.

these eyes will stay wide

basically i don't want to talk about anything except how nervous i am about school. i'm really scared ! what if everyone hates me ! what if i'm not smart enough ! or rather, not... academic-y enough ! i have to write a ten page paper for the genocide class which is making me really fucking nervous- not just the paper writing stuff, which is huge because i don't really remember how to write a research paper, but because of my procrastination issues. i somehow managed to get this done when i was 18, though, so maybe i can pull it off now?



this is the part of the syllabus that makes me most nervous, though:

Each student will be asked to choose a date to guide the classroom discussion for the first 30 minutes of class.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck ! why would you do that to me ! why ! i'm pretty good in front of audiences and i'm not shy or anything, but i'm.. not a college person and don't know how to do this junk !

in other sad nerd news, i actually dressed up for my first day of school? my mom sent me an email this morning that said, "i wish i was there to braid your hair on the first day!" me too, mom. me too. i'm wearing:


with a wide black belt



and two of my coworkers have said i looked cute, which of course i found annoying because i hate coworkers talking about my body or appearance. because i'm the dourest feminist !

bleh. i don't know. i'm too nervous and rushed to write anything good- i have meetings from 11-3 today, both redundant in one way or another. one specifies that a boxed lunch will be provided, but it's most assuredly a red bell pepper stuffed with a green bell pepper for the vegetarians (aka me). i actually told the guy running these meetings that i'm allergic to bell peppers (not a lie. well, a lie. but i would rather eat any of the stuff i'm allergic to !) but i am willing to bet $9,000,000,000000,00,00000,000,000.47 that he forgot.

sorry this entry is so grumpy and negative. i'm really, really, really, really scared.

p.s. clark park is closed for renovation ! boooo.
p.p.s. jeanne's show is tomorrow !

i say that every hour

first update from my new laptop ! i'm at home today because i got the brilliant idea to try to find a suitable schoolbag in my closet last night and got the worst dust allergy attack ever. my sleep patterns have been iffy at best lately, but i had watery stinging eyes/sinus pain/tooth pain (a weird allergy symptom i get)/a runny nose/an itchy throat until 5am or so. the worst part is that i didn't find a suitable bag. actually wait the worst part is that i feel like shit !



yesterday i heard back about my transfer credits. out of 20 possible credits, seven will transfer. i expected zero, so that is really encouraging ! work will pay for me to take six credits a year, so 7 credits takes a whole year off of my school career. the only trick here is that i have to get the syllabuses for those seven classes so they can determine if they fulfill requirements or if they're electives. surprisingly, i tracked down 4 of them within hours, and the other 3 are allegedly on their way- i had to get current syllabuses because um... i took the classes 9 years ago, but they accept those.

after work, i met up with mouse at green line (where i had a vegan chicken salad sandwich and giant iced coffee). before he got there, this dude came up to the counter behind me and said, "do you guys have any SKIN MILK??????" and i cracked up in the dude's face and was horrified by how rude i was being and then it made me laugh even harder so i was just like... laughing like a maniac for five or so minutes. ahhhh. it's still making me laugh to think about it ! mouse and i went on a short walk and got subpar fruit at supreme and a hairbrush at cvs.



and thennnnnnn when i came home, i transferred all of my music onto my new laptop, installed some programs on it, filled out my refund form for the free ipod i got with the laptop (i sent it to my mom) and did some other junk.

two more things !

1) i need comfortable and cute walking shoes. i need shoes that are as close to being barefoot as possible (that aren't those shoes with the individual toes), and are good for wide feet. the most comfortable shoes i've ever had, the birkenstock annapolis, are like $170 everywhere or on ebay but not in my size (i accidentally won a pair that are too big). i might go with the birkenstock eden?



2) i start school tomorrow and i'm really fucking scared. i'm nervous about like... every possible aspect of everything, from not being smart enough to the professor not liking me to the desks being uncomfortable for fat people. ugh.

anywayyyy blehhhhhhhh blehaslkdajslkgg wish me luck bleh.

my fiction beats the hell out of my truth

heyyyy dudes. i had a pretty low-key, uneventful weekend. on friday, i actually went out somewhere ! christina and i met amber at the south philly tap room. i haven't seen amber in like a billion years because she moved out to the sticks a few years ago, but she's back ! it was really great to see her. the south philly tap room is famous because they used to serve lion meat, but they don't serve that now and they didn't have any vegetarian lion meat.



i got a strawberry and asparagus salad, which probably sounds disgusting but was very delicious (it was a warm salad with spinach and pine nuts and goat cheese and red onions), and... a tomato sandwich. it was the special, and one of my ultimate comfort foods, and it was really good, but paying $8 for that sandwich is insane. also it was on really thick good bread, which is sort of a nightmare when your sandwich fillings are like, some goo.



after dinner, we went to capo giro to get gelato (i got dark chocolate and this weird candied black cherry one that is The Best) and hung out. it was so so so nice to see amber. after that, we came home and i can't remember what happened after that. i probably stayed up real late.

on saturday, christina and i went to pick up her computer and get a cord to transfer stuff from my old computer, and we went to loop to visit amber (two days in a row !). seriously, loop is my favorite yarn store ever. they have an awesome selection and everything is really well-stocked, and they put the prices on everything. they also have really good sales. i got two balls of noro chirimen #1 and another ball of sheep shop yarn.


noro chirimen #1


sheep shop one, lilac

when we got home, i went over to mouse's to watch mouse and mike wrestle. that wasn't too bad, i mostly just sat on a blanket in the grass- it was actually almost cold out ! then we got indian buffet for dinner, which was already more bland and less spicy cause the penn kids are back, and went to capo giro again (!). then mike came over to my house to watch survivorman.

on sunday, mouse and i met up and ate a late lunch in fairmount park. we picked a random spot and there was like one thousand geese there (to my delight and mouse's chagrin). mouse wasn't feeling well so he didn't even protest too much when i fed the geese some (pitted) cherries. i really should not have fed them anything butttt they came up to me and it was really cute and scary, cause geese are assholes. it's also funny because the geese were hanging out on a bike path, and instead of running off to the sides into the grass when bikes came, they'd haul ass down the bike path. luv u, geese.



after the park, we came back to my house and watched the terminator. maybe it's because i'd never seen it in HD before, but i never noticed that you can see arnold's dong in the beginning? also, i really want to buy the shirt kyle reese wears from old navy or something.


i posted that sentiment on facebook and my brother said "didn't he just wear a trenchcoat over a flashbeagle shirt?"

yesssssssterday i was supposed to go see mouse's band, but i got horrible diarrhea from the pound of cherries i ate the day before (i'm worried about the geese !) what better day than to finish the girl with the dragon tattoo. i thought this would be a fun book to read to make fun of, but it was actually like the dullest garbage ever and not even fun/funny !



so, if you haven't read this book, i'll save you the trouble- the plot is that this disgraced journalist gets hired to investigate the disappearance of a wealthy industrialist's niece in the 60s. it turns out that her brother and father are serial killers and serial rapists and she ran away to australia to live in secrecy or something. and also some boring stuff about business.

cons
- the book was super poorly translated, either by someone who doesn't speak english or someone who doesn't speak swedish
- it was basically like.. rape and torture porn?
- it took 350 fucking pages for something interesting to happen and then they dragged it out for like 350 more pages
- the business stuff? no one gives a shit.
- he forgot to really put the title character in the book, and repeated the same things about her over and over and over again- an ANOREXIC BITCH, socially awkward, socially retarded, damaged, a VICTIM, pierced eyebrows, tattoos, etc. also does anyone else think that 95lbs at "just barely 4'11" doesn't sound that skinny? it's small but it's in the normal weight range for that height.
- i mentioned this before, but he forgot to make lisbeth salander socially awkward in her interactions with people, despite telling us that she was 100000 times, and he forgot to make mikael blomkvist charming in HIS interactions despite telling us he was 100000 times.
- the rape and torture was just tooooooo fucking over the top and unnecessary and unbelievable
- there were too many fucking people in the vanger family. i kept having to flip back to see who people were.
- super poorly edited
- the book was also basically an advertisement for apple computers and he never once said 'his computer' or 'her laptop', it was always 'his ibook' or 'her powerbook'.

i have a million other complaints with how crappy this stupid book was but i can't even remember them cause it was so boring.

soooooo, my classes start thursday. i'm really nervous about getting books and stuff ! i got the syllabuses for both classes, and they both mention a required text, but then they also mention other books we'll be reading in the weekly plans, so am i supposed to buy those too? i'm really nervous in general because i haven't been to an actual classroom in like ten years. buhhh what if everyone hates me and i'm too stupid for school?

i'm at work now, and i look really cool.

p.s. once my friend diana posted on a messageboard about those tomato sandwiches and this dude said, "ahhhh, the classic t"
p.p.s. Initially, Zona's cause of death was listed as "everlasting faint"; later, this was changed to "childbirth".

i've made a huge mistake

mannnnnn. i've been hemming and hawing about getting a new laptop for school and yesterday i impulsively decided to go get one, and i made a terrible choice. i used a friend's macbook pro and loved it, and mistakenly thought she had a 17". THEN, on the table at the store, there were two sizes of macbooks which i thought were the 15" and 17", and the 17" one looked perfect for my needs, so i got the 17" one. wellllll it turns out i'm very stupid and there is actually a 13" macbook and the two i saw were 13" and 15" and the laptop i got is fucking gigantic. i don't mean to complain and have like, the brattiest most privileged problems ever- it was just a stupid mistake on my part and now i'm stuck with a very expensive laptop that isn't actually convenient for my needs.



it was only $100 more than the one i MEANT to get, and wow will look great on it, and it's really beautiful and will be great for watching movies and whatever, but it's just like... not practical. i like to bring my laptop on vacation with me or bring it places outside my room (away from all my cool stuff) to do work or bring it to friend's houses and sit in silence while we're both on our laptops and i don't even think i have a bag big enough to fit this thing. blehhh.

i know this is the stupidest problem ever and it's my own fault for not understanding how measurement works so i don't blame you for not having sympathy.



i didn't end up doing much last night. i watched the phillies game (9 run 7th inning?) and i intended to clean my room but what i ended up doing was laying on my bed watching youtube videos for like three hours instead of cleaning my room. you'll be happy to know that the gin blossoms music has held up, and that i now know how to crank that (courtesy of soulja boy).

big plans for the weekend: doing nothing, knitting, reading, setting up my new laptop, having adventures with mouse? christina invited me to go to the south philly taproom with her and amber tonight. i obviously love christina and i haven't seen amber in YEARS and i love her too, but i'm pretty wiped out and socially exhausted right now. maybe i'll be brave. the south philly taproom used to serve lion meat



they also have stuff like wild boar and bear bacon (which isn't exciting to me because i'm a florida redneck). i wonder what the vegetarian options are? mandrake root tacos !!!



vegan dodo eggs.

so, yeah. buyer's remorse, exciting weekend with mouse, exciting evening with christina and amber?, boring weekend holing up in my room reading about the civil war and watching survivorman.

on the road again

booooo, my mom is leaving today. i feel bad for being such an impatient jerk. i haven't really had any time to decompress and relax since the first week of august- like, thankfully i've had a lot of fun stuff to do and cool friends hanging around but i'm sort of like... at a breaking point where i need to be able to sit in my room and watch netflix and fart without any obligations. still, that's my mom, and i shouldn't have snapped at her so much. i feel super super super guilty and like the worst child ever.



we had a pretty low-key evening last night- i was super exhausted after work so we ate chinese food and watched a very riveting television show about celebrity murders. blehhhhh i love my mom more than anything or anyone and i'm going to miss her. christina and i may go to florida though in the winter !!!!

i have a credit evaluation interview with a lady from the program i'm in for school in a few minutes. i have... 15 classes that would theoretically transfer and 3 that wouldn't (i got Cs in them). i'm actually assuming that zero will transfer or that i'll get one or two electives at best, so i don't have my hopes up, but it can't hurt to try- if two classes transfer, that makes this ordeal one semester shorter.



i actually took too long to write this so i already talked to her- she said she'd do the evaluation tomorrow morning and tell me what could possibly be transferred, and then i have to get syllabuses from all the classes. whattttt. i went to college like ten years ago ! she also said that she thinks more stuff than i think will transfer, which might be kind of cool and less bleak. i'm stilllll not going to get my hopes up though.

in other news, i'm excited for the long weekend and excited in general to be able to relax with some giant boring books



speaking of boring, i'm going to go do some work now (ZING !), which includes, today, digging 5050500505 t-shirts out of our basement.

p.s. my friend dean is supposed to stop by tonight to give me a birthday present he got me like 4 years ago. i am NOT banking on him showing up.

reunited blah blah blah blah goooood

hey guyssss i'm back at work. today our new website launches anddddd it's move-in day for penn students. today is going to be really, really cool.

my mom is still here until tomorrow- i initially thought that she was leaving september 5, but she's leaving the 2nd ! it's been great having her here, though i have lost my patience a few times. like, the #1 thing that stresses me out is people asking me questions and making me repeat stuff and she is like... a constant stream of repetitive questions. she told me that i was being mean on monday though and i'm proud to say that i've been the nicest daughter ever since. yesterday she asked me some iteration of "what are we doing today" 13 times in 2 hours and i didn't even get mad !


this is my mom's favorite painting cause it looks like me and her

we've done all kinds of stuff this week, but most of it has been shopping. when my mom visits, we end up shopping a lot, but like... shopping at ross and the dollar store and stuff. it's hard for me to post about this stuff because the least interesting conversations and blogs are all about the stuff people bought, but at the same time finding cheap plus size clothing is pretty exciting. i always forget that ross is a decent option for plus size stuff (well, shirts and dresses- they had a single pair of pants in my size and it was a pair of old lady peach elastic waist pleated pants). i got two neat stuffy society lady dresses and a bunch of shirts with puffy sleeves and a shrug by my favorite company, candy rain.



i wonder where ross gets their plus size stock from? like, i've never seen any of these brands in stores or anything ever. if i knew what stores carried like, candy rain and leena jeans and steves of new york and stuff (that last one is made up) i'd definitely go there and get work clothes ! though i guess getting everything for like $7 each is a plus.

we also went to famous footwear, where i got... two pairs of shoes made by fergie. i don't really know anything about fergie except she peed herself in public and didn't give a shit (cool) and she's in the black-eyed peas (not cool) (also i think EVERYONE is in the black eyed peas, but especially wyclef and ?uestlove), butttttt her shoe line is called FERGALICIOUS? she has to know how disgusting that sounds. it sounds like putting your tongue on a moldy piece of cheese. i hate it ! they were $30 and buy one/get one, so it was a pretty good deal. they also fit my advanced ankles (though i don't really have comparatively big ankles)



so, what else did we do? we've hung out with mouse a few times, mike, and diana, and of course christina. we've watched a few movies, walked around, and eaten a lot of food. i love my mom, but it'll be exciting to get back to (relatively) normal eating once she's gone because my bowels are in turmoil.

oh, i also finished reading mockingjay. i can't really get too in depth with a review because a bunch of people i know haven't read it yet :(



i'll try to not ruin the book for you guys. overall, it was much better than catching fire and a good ending for the series, buttttt

- katniss became the most unlikable character ever by the end of the books (and suzanne collins kind of went nuts with the EVERYONE LOVES KATNISS AND ALWAYS HAS AND THINKS SHE'S SO SPECIAL AND LOVES HERRRR thing)
- i do not agree with the resolution of the team gale/team peeta thing
- some major characters died and there was like no reaction or emotion or even proper death scenes for them?
- muttations are the dumbest

okay, i guess i'm going to go. i should be able to write a better entry tomorrow when i don't have 10,000 people breathing down my neck !

p.s. please remind me to post about adult mutant ninja turtles (a series of texts mouse sent me).