the arrow goes straight through my heart

i just microwaved an EVOL bean and rice burrito for lunch (i've had zerooooo appetite since hurting my back and i'm forcing myself to eat at least breakfast and lunch at work) and tossed the wrapper in the (pretty full) trash can, and a coworker came up behind me and picked the wrapper out of the trash and started reading the ingredients.



i asked her what she was doing and she was like, "i just wanted to see what you were eating." 1) why? 2) why not ask me like a normal fucking personnnnn? (so i can tell you to mind your own business).

anyyyyway. i had a crappy day yesterday, so i came home from work and put in some requisite time with pizza- we watched the simpsons on the couch and stared at each other and then she walked on my collarbone and put her butt in my face. i'm pretty psyched that she seems to absolutely love the wellness pouches (the cans are all pate, but the pouches are chunks), butttt sort of disheartened that she seems to have stopped eating her dry food in favor of the pouch. wahhh. my plan to supplement the pouches with dry food might not work ! anyway, after that was taken care of, i retired to my room to read john bellairs books and pet roxy jr..


that pillow looks gross, but it's a cream colored pillow ! it isn't a yellowed white one

1) he is obsessed with this scar on my leg and licked it obsessively a few times.
2) when i was taking some aleve, he obviously remembered what treats sounded like and got all excited to get a treat, and i felt so bad- all the treats i have are crunchy and he has one tooth. i wet one down for him and he didn't seem interested, so i gave him a spoonful of food.
3) he slept behind me on the bed, by my butt, and i farted and he tried to bury the fart :(

things are still a little icy- for most of the night, he slept curled up under my bed, peeking out a little. i kept my hand over the edge and scratched his face while i was reading, and he occasionally growled and gummed my fingers in rage. i think i'm going to keep him in my room til the weekend, and then introduce the cats- i'd like to be at home all day for their first couple of days together.

as i mentioned, i'm on a john bellairs kick. after reading a bunch of depressing stuff about world war II and genocide, i need a break, so i got a collection of the best lewis barnavelt stories (not my selections for 'best', i just got some 'best of' books). i have always loved lewis the most because he is a little fat wimp who cries a lot, and rose rita pottinger is one of my favorite characters ever.


VENIO

i might pick up a few others for super cheap from the last word, if they have them. ideally i'd like to read them alllll again.

i need to sit down serrrriously and make myself a to-do list. i have a few tasks that i need to get done, and i feel so overwhelmed that i can't get everything in order ! i'm going to make a quick work to-do list (which i won't share with you because none of you care about what i do and it would require boring backstory) and a home to-do list. which i will bore you with.

not fun
- clean room
- clean up livingroom
- order catfood on amazon
- get stuff ready for integrating cats this weekend (which requires moving a bunch of my shoes to make room for a new litterbox)
- pick up laundry
- drop off rent
- get new pillows
- try to cook/eat dinner

kind of fun
- possibly start an ugly zooborns blog, suggested by christine
- possibly start a photos of people heismanning their pets blog
- update history blog
- take more pictures of pets
- buy myself some nail polish :( specifically interested in zoya shawn



and sephora by OPI leotard optional



- get some other john bellairs books
- go to the library
- hype jeanne and mike's art show here tomorrow !

hmm what else? mouse and i are going to see jonathan richman tonight. last year he played at johnny brendas, which is okay but annoying to get to, and tonight he's playing at the church. i'm pretty excited- his last show was one of the best nights in recent memory.



i've been listening to the jonathan richman solo mix i made for a friend to psych myself up- i can upload it for you guys tomorrow if you want/care.

okay, gotta go !

wish in one hand

blehhh. so at the end of our fiscal year, we have a staff appreciation day. usually it's a really low-key morning with breakfast and mimosas, then we play board games if we want (last year it was at the circa centre and we had a playstation !), then we have a really good catered bbq for lunch, and then we get "surprise" dismissed early at 12 or 1. i'm totally cool with this format ! i feel appreciated ! however.



this year some people on the committee opted to make it a field day type thing so now instead of actually relaxing after a stressful end of the fiscal year, there is a rigid schedule of "fun" including tug-o-war and something called like pass the grape, which sounds like a weird sex thing. i will not be playing pass the grape with my coworkers. i do not need to have elementary school activities assigned to me to have fun. i'm not 8, or from south philly.

i had both of my classes last night. history class was kind of a bummer because i have a lot of academic insecurity and i feel like everyone is so far ahead of me- not in knowledge of the subject, but as far as having the tools and language to discuss it. and i shouldn't compare myself to them, because they're mostly very young and have been going to school for 17 years straight at this point. i also got something wrong in one of my essay questions and i'm wayyyy too embarrassed about it. the added bonus of posting our homework online for everyone to see instead of just handing it in is a bummer, though i understand why it's useful !



german class is fine, but it's weird that the class is being taught in german by the third lesson? like i took german for years but i can't imagine how the people who have never taken it are doing. like, he just keeps saying things loud in german instead of saying it once in english? i mean, it's working, but it's weird.

after class, i did some homework (including writing a german essay and making notes for a history project) and then did the argent dailies with paul. i'm sort of bummed that everyone (including me !) quit wow, but i decided to do those dailies every day to get the three mounts i don't have.



then i had a rousing conversation about merkins and celebrity nudes with mouse (not arousing, rousing), and a little about possible poisoning at jamestown. i tried to talk a little bit about stuff i'm learning to help me remember it, because mouse is the only person on earth who wouldn't be bored by it ! did you guys know that the colonists named "virginia" after their virgin queen and because it was "virgin land", but the name the indians had for it, which i totally forgot (tsenecomaka?), means "densely populated land"?

what else? something less grumpy. there was a thread on my all ladies feminist messageboard about books we read when we were kids, and i ended up picking up used copies of all the books i hadn't read. because i was a nerdy, library-frequenting child, that was only five books. i got:


the ghost next door by wylly folk st. john


wonder by rachel vail


the girl with the silver eyes by willo davis roberts


stranger with my face by lois duncan


daphne's book by mary downing hahn

the majority of those are supernatural thrillers, and i'm really surprised i hadn't read them- especially that i've never heard of wylly folk st. john. honestly i'm surprised i haven't read the other ones either because i also liked books about girls doing stuff (any stuff). haha. have you guys read any of those?

i guess i'm going to get ready to go- the work party starts at 10, and the closing ceremony (aka we get to go home?) is at 1, so i'm going to go home and work on my history homework and maybe eat a big sandwich? then mouse and i are going to the phillies game and tomorrow we're possibly tubing if it isn't raining???

weekend to-do list
- clean ! there's so much grossness that is my fault that i'm oblivious to !
- DROP MY LAUNDRY OFF (this is important, all my cool clothes are dirty)
- finish my history homework (hopefully i'll do that this afternoon)
- do my reading for history next week
- post the german essay i wrote on our class site
- do the other german assignments i have (which is just using this interactive website)
- go grocery shopping

all of that is a pretty tall order but i want to try to be responsible !!!! wish me luck.

we gotta get out of this place

okay ! let's look at the to-do list ! it's slightly augmented !

- straighten up bedroom
- read my history chapters and take notes
- view the online portal for my history class and do the set-up for my german class
- tune up/grease/clean bike
-work on craft swap project
- straighten up the kitchen and living room
- go back to trader joe's for some frozen crap
- catsit hoolie !
- brush my own cat and clip her toenails

last night was a good night ! i came home from work and minimally straightened up the living room and took the garbage out (luckily the living room wasn't too messy cause.. i haven't been in it for awhile !) and then christina came home (i haven't seen her in foreverrrrr cause her class was ending) and jeanne and mike came over. i was really excited because jeanne is the coolest person and mike is also extremely cool, and he'd never been to my house before !



jeanne had me get this russian movie from netflix called wolfhunter. actually, it's called wolfHOUND, but it's cemented in my brain as wolfhunter (why would something be called wolfhound? that's redundant. doghound. wolfcanine. wolfdog.). basically it is a ye olde tymey story about a child whose parents are killed by an evil dude and who is forced into slavery who mysteriously becomes good at fighting and saves/avenges slaves. he also wolfhunts for the guy who killed his parents.



the movie is billed as conan the barbarian meets lord of the rings and i can't say it's really wrong? like, it's as shitty as any conan movie and as pretty as any LOTR movie ! the story was a little bit confusing because my brain kept refusing to pay attention but like, some cool wind happened and maybe some stabbing? the best part of everything, though, was that there were capable female warriors and it wasn't a big deal or odd that they were there, and the conqueror of the black bear (the like... chieftan of a weird little group of druids) was a tough fat lady ! and the princess was very tough and beautiful (and of course falls in love with wolfhunter)


that guy? not wolfhunter. just this other guy who is identical to him !

mike also brushed pizza for me so i could take it off my chore list ! i really appreciate it, and it was also exciting to show him the majesty of the furminator. i think he was really impressed.



after the movie was over, mouse stopped by and we watched some futuramas and mike drew some cool monsters (which you can see on his blog here) and jeanne paged through christina's art history book looking for a dragon (and came up empty). everyone went home and i got some quality time and cuddling with christina (her class is really cramping our style !!!) before going to bed.

also, remember my plan to get mouse to buy me a watermelon?

"i'm going to try to get him to bring a watermelon too but i'm not entirely sure how that's going to go. my plan is that he and i can both have some watermelon and then WHO WANTS TO CARRY A CUT WATERMELON HOME?? so i get to eat the rest of the watermelon."

it backfired when my power went out and we had to eat watermelon at his house? it actually backfired again, per his flickr.


This is for Roxy. Her plan to scam me out of my watermelon backfired and I ended up eating it with my family. In your face.


This is for Roxy. Her plan to scam me out of my watermelon backfired and I ended up eating it with my family. In your face.

there was a third picture where he got his family members to eat watermelon but i'm not posting it, because it hurts too much (and i don't know if it would be weird for them). suffice to say, i'm disappointed that what was supposed to be my watermelon became his baby nephew's first solid food.

okay guys, tonight's the night ! i have to do my history homework tonight, and i have to check out my bike, because i'll be in center city tomorrow and can get tubes or whatever if i need them. wish me luck !

like the fool i am and i'll always be

ohhhhhhhhhhhkay, i'm going to start with my to-do list from yesterday and cross off the stuff i did.

- straighten up bedroom
- read my history chapters and take notes
- tune up/grease/clean bike
- straighten up the kitchen and livingroom
- go back to trader joe's for some frozen crap
- catsit hoolie !
- brush my own cat and clip her toenails

not too much progress there, and i'm actually cheating a little because i decided not to go to trader joe's this week ! haha. oooops.

i stopped by after work to visit hoolie. she was doing well but was very very lonely, so i petted her and let her show me her toy mice and let her roll over a bunch for me. i also cleaned her water bowls and gave her fresh water and made sure she had enough food (this is what catsitting is if you didn't know). here she is, hanging out:





i also noticed that jon is weird:



i ended up taking a cab home after that because i'm an adult (and also because it was rush hour and i didn't want to be jammed into a trolley or bus with a bunch of assholes). i came home and tried to go to bed really early because i was feeling really anxious, but i ended up waking back up around 9:30 and killing zombies with ken. this is coach, the character i usually play:



i usually prefer an axe or a chainsaw as my melee weapon, but i feel guilty because a coach should probably use a baseball bat. oh, one way i've noticed that i am at a clear disadvantage when playing some video games is that i do not know anything about weapons. i know a lot about history and wars, but i know very little about guns and grenades and shit ! i think it has a lot to do with the fact that male childrens' toys come with weapons and weapon details and most female childrens' toys come with like, makeup you can also wear. fucked by society !

i decided that my favorite gun is the M16. did you know that the name stands for model 16? i looked at wikipedia.



it's frustrating though because the dudes i'm playing with will be like, "grab the submachine gun ! use your sniper rifle !" and i'm like, "lol?". like, i'm an intelligent person and i would like to learn more about it (i guess i'm more interested in the history of weaponry and how it relates to warfare than like, HEYYY TOTALLY SWEET SHOTGUN BRAH, though) and i find it frustrating that nothing in my childhood prepared me for this. you dropped the ball, ann m. martin ! my brain is full of impractical babysitting tips !



(all joking aside, i think it's a bummer that even as like, a gross nerdy tomboy with a cool older brother and cool mom, gender branding in toys/play/products/books/other media was so intense that i have gaps in knowledge as an adult)

my main plan for this evening is to clean my room and read some chapters for history. i have to meet online with my german professor tonight to test out my internet connection and headset for our class. i'm getting kind of nervous because my history professor said we'd be doing something like that "at the end of the month" but hasn't written again to make appointments, and she comes across as kind of coarse so i don't want to bug her.


viola swamp !

okay. if i post here tomorrow and my room is messy and i haven't done my reading, i want you guys to punch me into little pieces.

p.s. ughhh i just realized i should clean up tonight too cause mike and jeanne are coming over tomorrow ughhhh. maybe i just won't let them in the kitchen?