i'll never tell

dudes. i'm so far ahead on my reading for genocide class ! and by "ahead" i mean i am exactly where i should be. i've gotten into the habit of procrastinating all week and then panicking and trying to read everything/write everything wednesday night or thursday at lunch, and right now i read a whole book and one chapter and just need to read an article and another chapter. i'm psyched to read the article because my professor wrote it and i think she's a genius.

i went on a really exciting shopping spree yesterday, in which i purchased mostly books for $0.01 on amazon and a pair of sensible shoes. books first !


mass rape, ed. andrea stiglmayer


rape warfare by beverly allen


gender & catastrophe, ed. rohit lentin


a problem from hell: america in the age of genocide by samantha power


eichmann in jerusalem: a report on the banality of evil by hannah arendt


regarding the pain of others by susan sontag

remember how like five months ago i read nothing but young adult novels? most of these are either for the paper i'm writing or have been recommended to me or cited in several other things i've read. this should be a super fun thanksgiving !

i also uh, got a pair of saddle shoes. my friend sarah got a pair of bass enfields in brown and i decided to give up and be a total herb. i hope they're comfortable and don't look weird on my big, impressive feet (i had to put "impressive" in there so it didn't sound like i was disparaging my feet- they're useful and i'm glad they're big, for balance !)



what else? yesterday i went to penn's library for the first REAL time- i've had to look at periodicals there before, and use computer stuff, but i've never really gone um, into the stacks. i actually started panicking a little bit because the library is so fucking big. the library is like.. a block long, and there's just shelf after shelf after shelf of books ! that seems like it would be a total paradise for a terminal bookworm but it was so empty and so big and i felt like a monster was going to start chasing me or a creepy person would appear and say "may i help you" and startle me (both equally scary to me).



that's just in one direction and it's just as long in the other direction and there's like 6 floors of that !!!!! scariest. also it was full of young rich teenagers which is scary for other reasons.

when i got home, we attempted to do ICC, but it didn't work out- some people were having problems zoning in (oh i just started talking about warcraft like it's a real thing and you guys care about it) and some people were grumpy, so we postponed it until thursday. i did some pvp with gavin, josh, and rachel, but i really suck at pvp and mostly just wanted to talk to them cause i like them. and get some poison on some jerks.


harridan

so today- work, writing essays, class. reading. i'm meeting a classmate about... something? at 2pm today. she said we should "get together" and she said it with such authority that i was like, "oh, okay" except i don't know why we would get together. we're both pretty far behind in our writing class, so i think we may have to team up to peer review each others' late work. i was just about to write out a rant about this class but i realized that i already posted that rant on monday. in the beginning of the semester, i couldn't understand my classmates' ire and lack of cooperativeness and now i'm just like, "GOD FUCK THIS CLASS I FUCKING HATE IT, GODDDD FUCK IT I HATE IT."

p.s. i hate it for real.
p.p.s. i HEARD TELL that we may only have to take one critical writing seminar now instead of 2 to graduate? the women in my class were talking about it but i was half-listening, because the class is sucking the life out of me and i can't even make myself listen to gossip.

it's too much for me

yesterday i actually took care of business and did some reading for my class ! it was ESPECIALLY hard for me because i had plans later in the evening, but i went to green line after work and powered through a thing about aboriginal child removal and about half of a chapter in adam jones' genocide textbook, which is fucking great. i've felt intimidated going back to school because... i have very little experience in school, and some of the readings i've had so far since the summer have been hopelessly indecipherably jargon-y, and this textbook is really well-written and accessible. like, i've never read a textbook before that really felt like i was reading a good book.



after that, i went to meet jeanne and mike b. at their friend's house (he is also named mike b.)- he owns a really beautiful house in west philly that filled me with envy. i should buy a house in my neighborhood with my millions of dollars ! that i have. i drank 100 iced coffees and had read so much genocide stuff that i felt like somber cornholio. anyway, we watched black death, a movie about.. the black death ! the premise is that a bishop sends a group of dudes to go to this remote town that they heard is untouched by the plague because a necromancer/witch is raising the dead and protecting them and crap.



boromir is in it, as well as a redhead jeanne likes whose name is EDDIE REDMAYNE (what are the odds). the movie was really fucking cool and understated and grim- there is a quartering scene that made all of us make audible noises of disappreciation (i never thought about how slow a quartering would be) and the bubos were totally gross. the best part was that the necromancer/witch was this beautiful badass blasphemous lady



i was so into her, and the movie didn't fall back on a lot of shitty sexist tropes (like, a movie that takes place in ye olden times without any rapes is a rare thing), and she was such a great character and obviously the winner of the movie... until we got to the kind of unnecessary tacked on ending in which women lose throughout history. i recommend stopping the movie like 8 minutes early !

jeanne and mike walked me home after, and i came home and i did slightly more reading and painted my nails with christina's um, parlez-vous opi



and went to bed at a reasonable time ! oh, and while we were watching the movie, i got a lot of knitting done, which is nice. the baby sweater is knitting up fast, but between the two classes, i'm nervous that i won't have that much time to knit.

bleh. i have a slightly busy weekend (of my own doing) which involves getting the kitten on friday, so i really need to buckle down and get a jump on my schoolwork. i have to write a loose proposal for my genocide research paper by next week, and i'm sort of panicking because i don't know how to do that and i'm not really sure what i want to write about. i see that adam jones has another book called gendercide and genocide that looks really interesting, but i'm not sure what my paper would really be ABOUT, and... my professor is especially interested in this topic, so i'm afraid she'll be disappointed by what i write. academic insecurity !!!!

i have to go pick up stuff for a stupid thing. bleh.