know that i'm important in your life

seriously next week i'm gonna stop drinking so much coffee because i want coffee all the time and my mouth always tastes like shit anddddddddd i spend $4-$16 a fucking day on coffee !

the only reason i'm updating my blog today is because i have a research proposal and a paper to write today, as well as a chapter and the rest of my stalin book to read. i woke up at 6am today intending to study, but instead i laid in bed for an hour watching rancid and no doubt videos and stewing about what posers they are. i don't have much to say about rancid besides the fact that they're nerds and i'm embarrassed for them, but seriously like... gwen stefani is such a pud. i cannot stand the awkwardness of that album being all about her mooning over SOMEONE IN THE BAND. why was everyone afraid to tell them that that was weird and that it made everyone uncomfortable??? i'm convinced that the only reason that they sold all those albums is because everyone was too wimpy to tell them that. i've never met a single person who ever liked no doubt but i think my friend type might be "people who never liked no doubt".


this was NEVER cool

not much going on this week besides studying. i've been at the green line basically every day, and i haven't made that much headway. i'm pretty behind in my writing class, but i had a good meeting with my professor and i'm feeling more confident. i know i'm a decent writer, but the critical writing program here is super fucking rigid and we have to follow pretty asinine guidelines (written by a person who legitimately, from her instructions, appears to be some kind of rude maniac?) and i was worried that i was failing to follow the guidelines. i was at ease during the meeting though because the basement of van pelt library is infested with mice so i got to look at a bunch of cool mice during the meeting !



what else? blehhh i upgraded my cellphone. after breaking three blackberries and not being eligible for an upgrade, i got an iphone 3G for $99 (since they were trying to get rid of them) a couple of years ago. i basically hated it the entire time and it became basically non-functional when the iphone 4 upgrades came out. i figured i would always like, get some other phone when it was time to get a new phone- i used paul's droid thing in california and it was awesome ! buttttttt i ended up getting an iphone 4 and it's actually a decent phone so far. maybe it's just because my phone has been non-functional since the summer so this seems great in comparison, though. whatever, i feel like a disgusting yuppie asshole jerk and i am ashamed that i have a phone that a poor child probably assembled. what apps should i get?


i'm being flippant but i really hate that it's 2010 and i'm posting in a blog about iphones

i also don't want to make this a list of stuff i bought but i got a necklace on etsy made of a deer's rib from a found carcass, and i've had the most annoying conversations about it at work.



everyone keeps saying that it's "sad"? like, i guess it's technically sad that everything on earth doesn't live forever, but like... all of them eat meat? how is that less sad than acknowledging the fact that animals having skeletons ! i am so insulated by my social circle that i always feel like a fucking teenager at work when anything related to animals and vegetarianism comes up. it is so fucking bizarre to be almost 30 years old and still have to have this conversation or have people who are 30+ years old be like, "MMMM MEAT I COULD NEVER BE VEGETARIAN OH SORRY I'M EATING MEAT ARE YOU OFFENDED WHY ARE YOU VEGETARIAN IS THAT VEGETARIAN??? WHAT'S IN THAT??? MMMMM MEAT" to me. i'm not offended by people eating meat. i do not care that other people eat meat. i do not want to have philosophical conversations about not eating meat. but anyway, no, my deer rib necklace isn't sad, it makes me look like a cool witch. and not a fucking wiccan, a witch ! fuck you !

this is the worst blog entry i've ever written. back to JSTOR or what the fuck ever.

it's too much for me

yesterday i actually took care of business and did some reading for my class ! it was ESPECIALLY hard for me because i had plans later in the evening, but i went to green line after work and powered through a thing about aboriginal child removal and about half of a chapter in adam jones' genocide textbook, which is fucking great. i've felt intimidated going back to school because... i have very little experience in school, and some of the readings i've had so far since the summer have been hopelessly indecipherably jargon-y, and this textbook is really well-written and accessible. like, i've never read a textbook before that really felt like i was reading a good book.



after that, i went to meet jeanne and mike b. at their friend's house (he is also named mike b.)- he owns a really beautiful house in west philly that filled me with envy. i should buy a house in my neighborhood with my millions of dollars ! that i have. i drank 100 iced coffees and had read so much genocide stuff that i felt like somber cornholio. anyway, we watched black death, a movie about.. the black death ! the premise is that a bishop sends a group of dudes to go to this remote town that they heard is untouched by the plague because a necromancer/witch is raising the dead and protecting them and crap.



boromir is in it, as well as a redhead jeanne likes whose name is EDDIE REDMAYNE (what are the odds). the movie was really fucking cool and understated and grim- there is a quartering scene that made all of us make audible noises of disappreciation (i never thought about how slow a quartering would be) and the bubos were totally gross. the best part was that the necromancer/witch was this beautiful badass blasphemous lady



i was so into her, and the movie didn't fall back on a lot of shitty sexist tropes (like, a movie that takes place in ye olden times without any rapes is a rare thing), and she was such a great character and obviously the winner of the movie... until we got to the kind of unnecessary tacked on ending in which women lose throughout history. i recommend stopping the movie like 8 minutes early !

jeanne and mike walked me home after, and i came home and i did slightly more reading and painted my nails with christina's um, parlez-vous opi



and went to bed at a reasonable time ! oh, and while we were watching the movie, i got a lot of knitting done, which is nice. the baby sweater is knitting up fast, but between the two classes, i'm nervous that i won't have that much time to knit.

bleh. i have a slightly busy weekend (of my own doing) which involves getting the kitten on friday, so i really need to buckle down and get a jump on my schoolwork. i have to write a loose proposal for my genocide research paper by next week, and i'm sort of panicking because i don't know how to do that and i'm not really sure what i want to write about. i see that adam jones has another book called gendercide and genocide that looks really interesting, but i'm not sure what my paper would really be ABOUT, and... my professor is especially interested in this topic, so i'm afraid she'll be disappointed by what i write. academic insecurity !!!!

i have to go pick up stuff for a stupid thing. bleh.