yesterday was a weird day of trying stuff for me- i'm working on some cool interesting eating disorder stuff that totally sucks for me, and had to try to eat normally and be normal for a whole day. it basically felt like when the golden girls dressed up like men and went into the men's locker room at the country club- i felt super antsy and weird all day. eating normal food and not doing anything... well, disordered for a whole day made me feel like i accidentally left 100 stoves on- like, something was nagging at me all day like i forgot something important.
my favorite meal is a hoagie and a pamphlet
it's really hard to work on and think about this stuff, needless to say. after my last entry, i am trying really hard not to get ahead of myself and worry about how i'm going to deal with peoples' reactions to me losing weight (an unfortunate consequence of eating disorder recovery for me). like, i WILL have to deal with it when it happens, but it won't be noticeable for months.
i also did not take a nap when i got home from work. my weird period of like, winter malaise got me into the habit of going home after work, taking a nap, and then going to bed super super late (like 2-3am), so i'd be tired the next day and take another nap etc. etc. etc. i've already felt more energetic and positive and um, into the idea of hanging out and leaving my house lately so i think that's a positive change. let's hang out everybody !
i worked on my chewbacca last night- unfortunately because i used worsted weight yarn instead of dk, it's huge and misshapen so from here on out i'm just going to call it a bigfoot. the arms took about 10 minutes each to crochet:
oddly the pattern required me to stuff them and then brush them and of course the stuffing got pulled through:
i'm going to re-do them since it's so fast. by the way, brushing patches of bigfoot fur with a brush is warping me further because i love doing it and it's so relaxing.
oh. yeah. one last thing ! i'm even more bummed by 'the pacific' now because there was an extended night combat scene where john basilone repairs a machine gun or something, and he burnt his arm, and he killed some japanese people, and it was really vague and hard to tell what was happening, and this is what it was supposed to portray:
On October 24, 1942 his unit engaged the Japanese in the Lunga area when their position came under attack by a regiment of approximately 3000 soldiers. The Japanese forces began a frontal attack using machine-guns, grenades and mortars against the American heavy machine-guns. The American forces fought for the next 48 hours until only Basilone and two other men from his squad were still able to continue fighting. Basilone moved an extra gun into position and maintained continual fire against the incoming Japanese forces. He repaired another machine-gun and personally manned it, holding the defensive line until replacements arrived. With the continuous fighting, ammunition became critically low and supply lines were cut off. Basilone fought through hostile lines and returned with urgently needed ammunition for his gunners. By the end of the battle, the Japanese regiment was virtually annihilated.
i know that won't mean anything to most of you, but they did such a piss poor job of conveying ANY of that that it doesn't give me high hopes for the rest of the series. maybe i'll just watch band of brothers again.
p.s. mouse might come meet me for lunch ! i'm gonna get a fruit salad though cause i have a veggie burger for lunch.
p.p.s. having regular poops is weird.
hey, i did this today, too & it was really hard!
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it's impossible. it was nagging at me all day and night !!
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