through my awkward life

good morning dudes ! i had a pretty good, relaxing weekend. on friday i'm pretty sure that i just hung out with christina? i may have done a bunch of heroics because one of my favorite druids came back to wow, and i think i watched a bunch of uh... throwdown with bobby flay?



(two of my big comfort things are 1) simpsons dvds on repeat and 2) the food network.)

on saturday, christina brought me a motherfucking breakfast taco. two breakfast tacos even ! apparently there is a breakfast taco cart in clark park? at this point, having lived in philadelphia for 8 years, it's totally awesome to have a roommate seeing the city through fresh eyes because i'm finding out about all this stuff i was too lazy to notice ! the tacos were pretty good- egg, potatoes, cheese, salsa, and guacamole. they were a little underseasoned and i should've put hot sauce on them, but i immediately tasmanian deviled them down before i could do that.

after that, we had the world's most exciting outing to whole foods. i don't know what was up but we had the best time (which included christina pointing to my boobs in an elevator and gleefully yelling, "TURKEY'S DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!" cause she could see my nipples). i'm still working on eating disorder stuff and my brain is like... shutting down segment by segment as i try to figure out what i can make myself eat like a normal person and i'm slowly starting to find every food i like to be disgusting. i decided i'm going to have quorn nuggets and baked french fries and vegetables all week.



hopefully i will actually want to eat that ! i also took my chances by going to the nail place next to whole foods to get my eyebrows waxed. i have the world's most perfect eyebrows and since "my" eyebrow place closed (princess nails RIP) i haven't been able to find a suitable replacement. this place was not a suitable replacement. i was placed in a chair next to this horrifying chart:


click for larger image

and silently prayed i wouldn't have to pick one. i told the woman what i usually say ("just cleaned up, don't thin them out at all") and she proceeded to thin them both out and give me one really thin eyebrow. i pointed it out to her and she was like, "it was already like that"???? it was some family circus shit ! "who made my eyebrow thin???" "NOT ME !!!"


they look normal-ish here because i'm a hammerhead shark and it's hard to get both eyebrows in one picture

saturday night, christina and i had an exciting night of knitting and pay-per-view. i'm working on that burberry ripoff cowl and i got as far as the first cable and felt disheartened because the big cable looks weird. i'm going to sally forth and finish it though.



that bright red part is a provisional cast-on- my first ! that will come out later.

we also tried to watch the informant! since we'd both heard and were super entertained by the this american life episode about mark whitacre, and we are both fans of matt damon due to his work with operation treadstone. guess what dogs, the informant! totally sucked. it was like... painfully aggressively boring and totally baffling because they took really good true material and turned it into like... what felt like 900 hours of people blabbering about whatever.



we ended up turning it off eight hours in when we were only halfway through, and then i played wow and felt ripped off by the informant! and personally ripped off by matt damon.

yesterdayyyyyyyyy i hung out at home and mouse came over to watch more "band of brothers". i'm going to try to limit my WWII talk (though he's coming over tomorrow to watch the last two episodes) because the pacific starts this weekend and i'm going to bore the shit out of all of you for 2.5 months.

oh yeah !!!!!!!!!!! wait !!!!!!!!!! an intersection !!!! last night we watched part of saving private ryan, which i always kinda liked, and was struck by how trite and sappy and tom hanks-y it is.



like, how am i supposed to care about vin diesel croaking when guarnere and toye just got their legs blown off? how am i supposed to care about this sappy oscar grab when all of this shit happened to real people ! i don't know. at least tom hanks atoned for it with band of brothers.

okay, i'm done recapping my weekend. but not done complaining about movies ! see below.

p.s. i tried to avoid talking about the oscars because the fact remains that i do not care about the oscars and they are a farce and good stuff never wins, but the hurt locker makes me feel like i'm on crazy pills. i love kathryn bigelow (NEAR DARK) but "the hurt locker" was such a dull, predictable stinker. the bomb scenes weren't tense at all because they telegraphed instantly who would live and who would die- SPEED was more tense. if the plot had been like... "let's see if these guys can make it home" it would've been more interesting than, uh, "war is a drug." the only other people on earth who didn't like this movie besides me are imdb messageboard trolls. why is everyone playing a trick on me and pretending this movie was amazing?



p.p.s. i just remembered that i watched it with my friend paul and he also didn't like it so i feel a little less cold and alone.