yes we arrre, yes we arre

this was a long fucking weekend ! but guess what guys ! i actually got some work done. not as much as i should have, but it's a vast improvement over previous weeks.

on friday, i did some grocery shopping and read half of s.: a novel about the balkans by slavenka drakulic. it's not a long book, and i probably could've finished it, but i felt like i was having a fucking panic attack halfway through and i had to put it down.



okay, i understand that i'm writing a paper about genocide and rape and sexual violence, so this stuff isn't exactly avoidable, and i should steel myself for it. however, i don't necessarily see the merit of reading a super super in depth descriptive novel about how rape makes you feel. like, on the one hand, of course it's important to understand and appreciate the horror of what happens in these situations, but the book was pretty vague on facts and high on emotional response, and an unfortunately high number of women are already personally aware of these feelings. like, not comparing and weighting experiences against each other or anything (since systematic rape during war in camps set up for rape is obviously not the situation in which most women are assaulted), but i don't necessarily think that it's important to make undergrad students feel, experience, or relive rape and the trauma that follows rape in order to teach them about rapes that have occurred (especially since undergrad males across the country are doing such a great job of making sure college-age women are aware of them). at the very least, i think it was kind of irresponsible to assign the book without a disclaimer, as most of the other material we're reading is straight statistics or dry facts. i know it's a class about genocide, and that i'm going to have to read many, many, many horrific things, but i think rape is unique because it's so personally relatable and familiar to so many women, no matter the context it occurs in.*



it's sort of hard to switch to light-hearted stuff after this ! but i need to ! for my brain ! christina's friend chris stayed over that night, and in the morning we all met up with mouse (whose name, if you didn't know, is ALSO chris), and got ethiopian breakfast and got coffee at green line. jesse made me this beautiful mean latte:



and i got some reading done and eavesdropped on people ! on saturday night, mouse and i went up to his mom's so i could hang out with scottie the baby (his nephew). ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh god he is the cutest fucking baby ! daisy the dog (and rookie the dog) was also there, and she seemed... a little jealous of the attention the baby was getting.



we had a great time though. scottie just learned how to do that buhbuhbuhbuhbuhbuhbuh thing where you put your finger in front of your mouth and make your lips vibrate. also he just laughs randomly and it's really cool ! i also wore my hair down so he could pull it a little and he was psyched. after that, i came home and read more- i finished s., and i read part of the chapter about bosnia-herzegovina in our textbook.

sundayyyyy i went to trader joe's to get stuff for lunch (which i forgot to bring to work today !) and mostly chilled out with christina and the cats. christina cooked a bunch of delicious food and let me eat some of it, and i got sort of panicky about my writing class essays and only finished one. i really really need to get my shit together ASAP so i get an okay grade in this class. i just like... can't make myself care about it, and the instructions are all so muddled and weird. i think it speaks volumes that i'm getting As on every single paper in a 400 level history class but doing subpar work in a 100 level required writing class. i'm not trying to downplay my responsibility here, since i've been a pretty crappy student, but it's a pretty crappy program. even with a good instructor who's doing her best with the material she has to teach, it's incomprehensible. hateeee it.

um, what else? i got my eyebrows waxed on friday and they gave me a free nail polish because one time in the winter they were closing and couldn't do my eyebrows. they've already given me a free eyebrow wax, a discounted eyebrow wax, and a different nail polish for this same incident, but i'm not complaining. nail polish is my one stereotypically feminine vice- in middle and high school i painted my nails a different color every fucking day even though i didn't brush my hair and i wore old man's pants and t-shirts from the flea market. the color i got is um, lucerne-tainly look marvelous? which is like a gun metal with teeny glitter.



oh yeah. i possibly registered for spring classes? they aren't on my schedule now but christina thinks that they're off while they're working on registrations and crap. the classes i selected are:

Course title: Elementary German II
Course description: A continuation of GRMN 101. The student's expression and comprehension are expanded through the study of literature and social themes.

Course title: Creative Non-Fiction Writing: Perspectives in Race, Class, and Gender
Course description: A workshop course in the writing of expository prose. Assignments include informal as well as formal essays, covering such topics as autobiography, family history, review, interview, analysis of advertising and popular culture, travel, work, and satire.

imaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagine how fucking annoying that second class will be ! imagine ! i can't fucking wait. i think my plan is to see how the creative non-fiction classes are and then take a couple of them, because it will come in handy for history windbagging.

anyway, this was a pretty good weekend. my plan for this week is to get caught up with my writing class (like tonight, or tomorrow) and get more into my genocide research for my big paper. luckily these idiots are committed to helping me:



i swear this blog will get interesting again once school is over, and then become not-interesting again when school starts again.

* please note that i'm talking about teaching this material in a specific context- an american ivy league university, undergrad class, in 2010, with a specific student population. i know that there are many, many places and times in history where other factors of genocide besides rape would be familiar and palpable and real to people learning about them

i'd love to love you, lover

dudes ! dudes ! i seriously did zero work this weekend and i'm freaking out ! i don't know what's wrong with me ! usually i am a master procrastinator, which means i procrastinate but am able to get things done by a deadline, but i really dropped the ball. i think my big problem here is my writing assignment, because nothing on earth interests me less. to be fair, though, i'm behind on a genocide assignment too, and nothing interests me more.


the most interesting search result for "procrastination." poor guy.

on friday, i...? i'm not sure. i got a car to go to whole foods, but i didn't realize it was like 9:30 at night, so i ended up dropping my laundry off and wandering around cvs for awhile. i'd had 9 shots of espresso at that point so i was mentally insane, and i stopped at a light next to a giant mcrib billboard and was totally perplexed by it. now, i have eaten a mcrib before ! i know about mcribs ! i call those morningstar riblets 'mcribs'. furthermore, the billboard featured a giant picture of a mcrib. despite all of that information, i stared at it for the duration of a light and could not figure out what the sign said. i was like, "m.. crib? m.c. rib? m crib?" please note that i also know what mcdonalds is and am familiar with their naming convention.



on saturday, i cleaned my room a little (not totally) and went to the green line to study. this did not go well, but i had a wonderful time hanging out by myself listening to weird al. also, patchie came in and hung out with me and it was the first time i ever hung out with her FOR REAL, and she is fucking cool. she let me windbag her about genocide and we talked about what a dork god is. mouse met up with us after that and he and i went grocery shopping and came back to my house to watch the masque of mandragora. it was awesome to hang out and watch doctor who with him (and eat the thanksgiving food i bought for $1000000 from whole foods' hot bar !) because we haven't had time to hang out for real in weeks.



i have the novelization of this story (because i suck), and i'd always pronounced it man-dra-GOR-uh but it turns out it's man-DRAG-or-uh ! fascinating ! basically a ball of energy and that dr. doom guy were going to prevent the renaissance from happening through fake doctor who science and some people got caught on fire and the doctor stole two horses. not too bad? i have specific interest in people getting all burnt up in a movie (especially if a charred skeleton is left behind !) so i was satisfied, but mouse was disappointed that the doctor didn't kick anyone in the nuts. after mouse went home i stayed up late and accidentally ended up watching a softcore hbo porno called "cougar school" which had serious script problems.

on sunday, christina invited me to get ethiopian breakfast with her and amber !!! i had to study, but i realized that i wouldn't have actually studied if i didn't go, so i went with them. amber is the best- she's so funny and cool and it's great to have other friends who understand anxiety junk. neither of them had ever been to abyssinia for breakfast/brunch before and they loved it as much as i do ! sigh. amber got the ye'inqulal tibias (which is scrambled eggs with cool spices and hot peppers and tomatoes and onions), and christina had her first bowl of foul <3<3<3<3<3 i also got dabo fitfit for all of us, which is just... french bread ripped up and soaked in a spicy tomato and onion sauce, which sounds super simple but is like one of the best things i've ever tasted.



we got coffee at the green line after that and had a wonderful time talking and sitting in the window seat. eric was working and he told me he saw me on ravelry, which is probably like... the least embarrassing time anyone has commented on my internet activity. i trieddddd to do some work when they left but i got caught in a weird youtube loop where i tried to find every instance of cookie monster wearing clothes (healthy food rap, various monsterpiece theaters, etc.). jesse and her friends also came by for a minute and entertained me, so i gave up and spent $40 at cvs buying like, lipsmackers and arm hair bleach.


i'm beggin' of you, please don't burn my arms

at hoooooome i tried again to do some reading, but i ended up talking to christina about the x-files, fucking with the cats, posting romantic stuff on facebook, and re-organizing my itunes. i did like one third of one assignment at some point (which took like 20 minutes, leading me to believe that i could've done all that work in 2 hours or so !).

sooooo today i have a bunch of work stuff to do, and i'm going to try for a miracle as far as getting school stuff done at lunch. i need to take a trip to the mouse-infested library (i mean that in a good way, because i have positive feelings about vermin) at some point today too because i need to bring shit to class. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i have so much to do !

p.s. i'm taking a mental health day tomorrow !