Showing posts with label borderlands. Show all posts
Showing posts with label borderlands. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

i think i can i think i can i think i can

what's up dogs ! i stayed home yesterday because of double ear aches and general malaise. my ears hurt and i still feel shitty, buttttttttttttttt unfortunately doctors treating fat people like shit has given me pretty bad anxiety about going to see them.

on a lighter note, i spent most of yesterday sleeping and playing video games, with a brief yoga interlude because i realized that not moving around all day was turning me to stone. i gave diana my fat yoga dvd because i thought i'd moved past it and basically memorized it, buttttttt i need to get it back from her and make a copy. i think i have stockholm syndrome with the smug asshole who hosts it. i haaaaaaaated her calling me a sassy diva and strong confident woman and stuff when i was just trying to get my downward dog on, but now i find that it's hard to do it without her stupid encouragement.

megan garcia
namaste, jerk


also, i have no concept of time so i'll be like "i just held that pose for THREE HOURS !!!" and it was actually 15 seconds, so i think having an instructional video helps.

on monday night i played borderlands with perry for a few hours. the game is okayso far, though i have absolutely no clue what is going on or what the objective of the game is. i think one of the problems is that i can't read quest text on my tiny tv (not that i ever read quest text anyway) and that i'm playing with someone who knows what we need to do.

borderlands


maybe my goal for today will be to make perry tell me what the game is about.

yessssssterday night i played left 4 dead 2 with ken (and were later joined by a couple of other dudes who i kinda know !). THAT was a lot of fun. i guess i don't know what this game is about either, besides killing a lot of zombies and trying to escape from them. i think the factors that led me to believe that it was more fun is that it seems a lot easier. there's tons of stuff to kill at close range and you don't have to even aim your gun (and it manually reloads), whereas in borderlands there's usually a bunch of dudes shooting at you and ducking behind stuff for cover (because they are alive and not dead).

left 4 dead 2


the game itself looks pretty cool, though there's not a lot of variation in the zombies (and one zombie was wearing the exact outfit i was wearing yesterday and i had to kill her over and over D:). the zombies' movements are fast and jerky and scary. we finished two of five possible campaigns, and there doesn't seem to be much variation- waves of zombies, the same 4-5 special zombies showing up occasionally, and then some kind of gimmicky objective. there is a marked difference between each of the skill levels though- we did everything on normal, switching to 'easy' for the tougher parts (the first campaign was just me and ken with two computer players, before two of his friends joined us) so at least there's some variation there. overall it was really fun and seems like an easier beginner game to get used to using the controller. unfortunately i did the worst out of everyone every time !

what else? i took a german placement test (required of all people taking the summer german I class who have previous experience) and i was super worried i'd place out of the class and mess up my schedule. guess what ! i totally didn't need to worry because i forgot like all the german i know. when people are talking to me or i have to read something in german, i can understand like 85% of it, but i don't remember tenses and genders and pronouns at all.

deutsch


one part of the test was writing a personal essay and mine seriously was like, "my name is roxy, i live in philadelphia, i'm 28 years old, i love fanta and potato salad, my favorite singer is nena hagen" (basically like, all stuff from the laughably outdated neue freunde textbook, which was mostly about the scorpions, falco, and piranha 2).

what else did i want to talk about? oh, i wanted to talk about monster high, mattel's attempt to capitalize on the success of both bratz and twilight. it's basically a line of toys where the characters are descended from monsters but are run of the mill misogynist stereotype airhead bimbo shopaholics !

monster high


so like, can anything marketed toward young girls be cool? ever? bratz are fucked up weird dolls that promote materialism, competition between women, sexualization of children (one of their lines was... babies... in diapers... with makeup and heels), and unhealthy body images. twilight is a fucked up book that promotes abusive relationships as romance, a stereotype of female weakness and incompetence, sexual assault and stalking as romance, and uses monsters as a thinly veiled excuse for men to do whatever they want to women because it's their NATURE. why would you then COMBINE these two things to sell to female children? oh, because money is and has always been more important than the health, future, and well-being of women.

the dolls don't come along with books, or comics, or even a tv show. they are just dolls, with a "fun website" that you can log on to, a la those pet toys for babies. the website is full of riveting information like that the werewolf's biggest pet peeve is not being able to wear platform heels in gym and that she spends hours plucking her excess hair to be fabulous. wouldn't a werewolf's biggest pet peeve be that she goes fucking berserk and kills humans during the full moon? the vampire is vegan, which means she's not a vampire. one of the characters isn't even a mummy, she's just egyptian. is "egyptian" a monster now? like, the characters essentially have nothing to do with monsters and their monsterness is only presented as a slight setback in their quest to be hot sexy fashionistas who love boys, gossip, and shopping. plus, to compensate for their monster features, i guess they wear even less clothing than bratz !

bratz


get that message, little girls? you're a thing. if you don't look like these dolls, you're ugly. if you're ugly, you're worthless. oh, and instead of having actual interests you should only care about shopping, makeup, gossip, and boys. i just wanted to state that in case the message mattel has been sending us since the 1960s was too subtle.

soooo basically i'm going to blow up the planet.

p.s. i haven't even played red dead redemption yet. word is that it is going to suck on my crappy CRT tv in my bedroom !
p.p.s. i already watched everything good on netflix

Thursday, June 10, 2010

ride it- my pony

wazzaaaaaaaaaaa. i'm so ridiculously caught up at work that i'm digging around for stuff to work on. summer is our slow season at work, and i have a few summer projects lined up, and i may start them early because i'm so bored.

last night was business as usual, at least for the forseeable future. i came home and hung out with christina for a bit (we watched vocal adrenaline's performance on the glee finale) and then played borderlands with perry. my character leveled twice, so now it's level 9 or 10? and we got the ability to ride in a vehicle. i think maybe i'm getting the hang of targeting shit? we dueled each other and i won twice, but only cause i killed him while he was explaining stuff to me and wasn't shooting back. he said that he didn't mind because it shows that i have the killer instinct and he can respect that.

killer instinct


then my friend ken and i watched a movie together. one thing you may NOT know about the xbox 360 is that you can form a party with friends and all watch the same netflix movie together- like, it syncs it up on everyone's tvs ! it's basically the coolest thing ever, though our movie choice of robot vs. aztec mummy was a poor one. while i love mystery science theater 3000, i have to admit that it's pretty hard to talk during them because you're automatically competing with one person and two robots who are funnier than you are.

robot vs. aztec mummy


it actually didn't occur to me until i watched that that mummies can be from places other than egypt. this opens up a whole world of mummies that i've never thought about !

what else? i talked to mouse and made plans to hang out tonight. he's been getting jiu jitsu compliments from his instructors lately. could a purple belt be in the works?!??!! unfortunately, brazilian jiu jitsu isn't like YMCA karate (how many of us knew black belts in like, fifth grade?) and it takes a few years to advance, and he only got his blue belt recently. it's oddly exciting for me to hear about his progress because he loves jiu jitsu so much and i still remember him stopping by after his first class, happier and more psyched than i'd ever seen him, super excited to tell me about... getting his ass kicked?

jiu jitsu
some jiu jitsu guys doing a thing


oh yeah, i forgot to mention this- my xbox gamertag is scummanifesto (hee hee), so you can add me and maybe we can play one of two games i have together? i should have left 4 dead 2 soon too.

p.s. i'm bored !!!!!!!!
p.p.s. i've been thinking about it and i'm oddly excited to buy school supplies for my classes in july?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

a consolation prize will suffice tonight

booo i had meetings all morning and a greek salad just exploded on me ! and i had to like, pick feta out of indoor outdoor carpet which was awesome and i totally smell great now and am happy that i can cross that off my bucket list.

delicious feta


last night i finally hooked up my xbox. there was one minor snag that was um, me putting in commas instead of periods on my email address, but i got set up pretty quickly. i played borderlands with my friend perry for awhile. it's hard to get used to the headset because it's just.. on all the time. in wow, you set a button you press to talk, so you don't have to worry about everyone hearing you farting and singing songs to your cat. also, i'm like 99% sure the jack on my controller is fucked up because my headset sounds like when you'd yank out your walkman headphones too much and they'd get all fuzzy and you'd have to twist it to make it work !!! i'm taking it to the GEEK SQUAD.

borderlands was pretty cool ! we didn't really get very far, but i was surprised that it wasn't as hard to get used to as i anticipated. i didn't really have much trouble controlling my character (though aiming was kind of hard and i didn't really get the hang of it) and figuring out how to navigate, but it's very different from wow and the controller has nine billion buttons.

controller


i'm not really sure what the game is about because i'm the worst at paying attention during cinematics and reading quest text. my friend jason described it as killing desert mosquitos and killing members of slipknot which seems about right. for example:

9 toes


this screen came up right before we killed this dude. he even has slipknotted *nipples*.

after that, i set up netflix instant viewing and was astounded at how amazing it is and all the stuff i could watch ! unfortunately, i totally choked and ended up watching season 1 of 30 rock. the show started out super funny right out of the gate, but i guess somehow at the time i ignored all the fucked up shit? the rape jokes start in about 6 episodes in. haha.

hooray


okay, this is very important. you guys need to recommend netflix instant viewing stuff to me. everyone i know watches such cool things but every time i look at what's available it's like, third rate american pie type straight to video stuff and 29302380293 seasons of the vicar of dibley.

stuff i am interested in
- documentaries about historical stuff, nature, cool things
- historical fiction
- things that are funny and do not have rape jokes
- episodic television that does not involve anyone who was involved with "buffy the vampire slayer"

stuff i am not interested in
- "buffy the vampire slayer"
- jud apatow
- romantic comedies
- um, anything made before 1956
- foreign films that are not in english (this isn't in general, but my tv is too small and i wouldn't be able to read the captions)

thank you in advance ! love, roxy.

p.s. i baked a cake last night for no reason and forgot to eat any D:

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

whole world in his hands

i'm back at work for the first time since last wednesday ! so far it is very weird because i don't think my boss has read the email i sent her about my dad dying (she was out of town for work/on vacation til yesterday) yet. i still basically feel nothing but i am starting to feel a little weird because all of my coworkers care about me a lot and are being really nice to me- i actually think that's what's making me feel weird, because i cry any time anyone is really nice to me or really mean to me.

basket case


yesterday was my last day with my mom before she goes home ! her flight leaves at 2 today. we farted around the house in the morning and then jesse called me and was like, "WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR LUNCH????" so we made plans to go to chinatown. we went to lee how fook, the most highly recommended place in chinatown (i have no idea where real people eat cause i always just go to one of the billion veg. chinese places) and it was not that great. every time i go with people who eat meat, they LOVE their food, but i've had every vegetarian option at this point and every single one was gross.

food
bean curd with mushrooms at lee how fook


so those huge chunks of tofu? not pressed. so they were like waterlogged flavorless sponges. also there were 4 mushrooms in it. also we saw two live cockroaches on the ground. jesse and my mom liked their food though !! haha.

after that we... went to the first nail place we saw and my mom got her mustache waxed and jesse got a manicure and i got a manicure and pedicure. it was like $18 and totally worth it because my feet are disgusting. i say that with 100% pride- my feet are like leather and i can walk on any surface, i never wear socks, and i had alarming witch toenails. and they're like that because i use them ! but my callouses were getting uncomfortable (like, dry and CRACKING) and my toenails were all fucked up, so i paid $18 to have a guy use a dremel on them.

dremel


that was pretty cool ! it was also kind of brutal because i'm super ticklish- i had to stop him during the foot massage portion of the pedicure because it tickled and also i am generally uncomfortable with the ART OF THE MASSAGE being done to my body. i got my nails and toes painted these colors:

hot and spicy jade is the new black
opi hot and spicy and jade is the new black


i ended up buying both colors cause i like them and cause i liked the dude who did my feet (AS A FRIEND) and wanted to support their business.

after that, we took the trolley home and got stuck underground ! my mom was having a conniption because she's super claustrophobic and hates being underground anyway. and then once we started going, the line that attaches the trolley to the power source disconnected and made a huge bang and i'm pretty sure my mom thought it was a crocodile or something and freaked out. we made it out though, and the whole ordeal only took like 20 minutes.

trolley !


when christina got home, we got a car and went to pick up a few things- most notably, we got a really exciting curtain to put in our livingroom doorway to keep the AC in, and uh, paper towels? and and and uh... some hand towels for the bathroom.

unfortunately, i had a bad allergic reaction to those mosquito bites and i took two baby benadryl earlier in the day, so i was like... totally wiped out and out of it for the entire last day my mom was here. i kept switching between feeling like my brain was awake and my body was asleep and vice versa. how do people take benadryl? how do BABIES take baby benadryl?

benadryl


anyway, i'm sad that my mom is leaving. i wish she lived up here, but then my brother would be bummed.

what else? i got an xbox but i didn't set it up yet or um, buy any games. i didn't want to ignore my mom for it (though she felt A-OK ignoring me for FARMVILLE !!!!!). i signed up for gamefly and got borderlands and put red dead redemption and alan wake in my queue, but i'm going to have a lot of setting up to do. borderlands is the only game that came so far and my borderlands friend is on vacation.

xbox


now that i put my air conditioner in my room and am going to hook this up and watch netflix on it and nerd off with some of my nerd friends, my chances of going outside this summer are getting slimmer and slimmer. HOWEVER, i am going to make a real effort to do stuff outside and hang out and go to peoples' houses.

p.s. i hope.
p.p.s. i miss my mom.
p.p.p.s. i got a bunch of nice clothes but i feel weird about it.