everybody wants some

i just spent like ten minutes reading jersey shore cast bios. i've never really watched the show or heard anything about it (though oddly MOUSE seems to know a little about it?) and i'd read the wikipedia description of each person and then do a google image search and like... apparently guidos all look the same to me. there was one photo of three guys from it and it just looks like the same guy photoshopped in four times?



also did you guys know that it's like the real world with guidos? i thought it was just like a random guido safari of a pack of guidos who were already buds.

okay, i haven't updated all week because it's finals week and i've been super busy, but the most important development is that BROOKE IS AT MY FUCKING HOUSE RIGHT NOW.


brooke at a different house but she is at my house now

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. we got her from the airport last night in a carshare car (getting slightly lost on the way home !) and we had the best time laughing. i seriously was in physical pain from laughing so hard ! i had to go to bed pretty early (well, 1:30) cause i had to work, though :(

my last summer class was yesterday night by the way- my last history class was tuesday, and it was fine, but for some reason i felt like crying at the end of german? i guess cause i've spent 4 days a week talking to those people for six weeks. i did my history final exam yesterday, and now all i have left is:

- german final exam
- german test (i know, right?)
- voice presentation (i have to record a spoken paragraph about myself)
- german voice interview at 3:30 today


i tried to find an octopus doing lots of work, but i found this punk octopus

i'm not entirely super confident about my german stuff. i still don't exactly understand the cases and my vocabulary as far as knowing the genders of nouns isn't great. hopefully i do okay? this class has been a ton of work so i hope homework is weighted heavily, but the syllabus is like 40 pages and i don't feel like looking !

anyway, i guess i should cut this short and go study. i have off of work monday and tuesday, so i probably won't update. sorryyyyyyy dogs.

big plans this weekend ! we're going to eat a bunch of food and go to museums and also see people from our dour feminist messageboard, and hang out with mouse and hang out with jeanne !

all the stars were shining bright

i have had the weirdest craving lately- fruit punch gatorade. i don't like gatorade OR fruit punch, but i can't stop thinking about it. i just got one and i'm choking it down right now despite its disgustingness.



i'm gonna try to do a quick weekend recap because i have a lot of work to do today- i didn't write my german essay or do the quiz online this weekend and i have to do it ASAP. i guess, despite what i said before, i still don't get the different cases. i also need to watch some history lectures and do some reading.



speaking of homework, on friday i stayed at home and did some homework. i tried to get as much as possible done, which ended up only being 2/5 of what i was writing. HOWEVER, i finished it around 2pm on saturday (instead of 5:30 like the last few weeks) and went to trader joe's and dropped my laundry off. i spent most of saturday night bro-ing down with christina (who i have barelyyyyy seen lately) and:

1) working on my craft swap project
2) catching up on DVR'd shark week stuff



my craft swap scarf is really coming along. unfortunately, the due date is like... this week? and there's no way i can finish it this week. i didn't think about how much school would affect my free crafting time before i signed up, but all my finals stuff is this week (for my german class it's like.. 4394093 things? and a history exam that should take HOURS), plus brooke is coming ! anyway, i'm on my final ball of yarn and one solid weekend should do it, so i petitioned for extra time.



the shark week stuff i watched was all pretty good, too- as a result, though, i have a new favorite hunky zoologist. you guys know i'm not shallow (not really anyway) and my other celebrity crushes are like... kevin james and snagglepuss, but dave salmoni is the handsomest charmingest and loooooves animals. he lived in the wild for 6 months with lions !!!! the best part about all this is that he didn't have any shark experience and was totally a terrified wimp the entire time.



he is also a dictionary defintion hunk with a ninja turtle bod if you want to check it out.

on sunday, mouse and i went to tyler state park ! we met up with mike, which took forever cause he got lost and his dog got diarrhea in the car. my intent was to take portraits of them butttttttttttttttt mouse wore a damn tie dyed shirt and mike took his shirt off immediately and tied it around his head like a roofer, soooooo. we walked around for a bit and settled at a picnic table near some corn fields and talked about guns? as i've mentioned, i don't know anything about guns, and i have very little interest in shooting, but i agreed to go shooting with them if i could shoot an ak-47. they both seem to be into the 1911, which is nice and everything, butttttt i don't know or care about guns !



those are mike's dogs, beale and berry (they were found on a highway in memphis, hence 'beale', the worst name for anything ever). they were cute and everything but were totally uninterested in petting so i'm basically uninterested in them !

after the park, mouse and i went up to his mom's house to hopefully see the baby butttttttttttttttttttttt he was asleep ! jenny let me gently squeeze his foot though. i did get to pet mouse's parents' dog, daisy, who is one of my favorite dogs and totally made up for mike's duds.



after that, we went to whole foods and i came home and knitted and worked on my german homework, before going to bed way too late and now i'm awake and very tired and cranky. and this entry still took me HOURS to write even though i didn't do anything or put any jokes in. oh well, at least you got a hunk.

p.s. blehhhh jeanne's on vacation and i miss her !
p.p.s. there was a show on the history channel about the war of 1812 and two people asked me my opinions about stuff independently of each other ! aw.

sawblade and speak and spell

my advice for you guys today? don't grow up poor. if you already did grow up poor, go back in time and have not done that. especially if the people in your family have bad teeth and you don't have dental insurance. because you will end up 28 years old and missing three molars and about to lose another ! and also, you will have had so many root canals that you actually lost count of them.



i know that's shitty advice, because poor people are the ones least likely to time travel (cost prohibitive, can't miss work, etc.) but it may be my only option at this point.

hey. i'm in a bad mood.

history and german last night. we're getting ready for our finals, and my history final is worrying me. it's a word document we download and write in and upload again- it's open book, and available for 24 hours, but it's 24 hours in the middle of the work week. like... it's available at 6pm on wednesday, then i have my german class from 7-8:45 on wednesday night, then i guess i have to do it before bed? cause i work 8-5 the next day. i'm sort of bummed- between this and my german professor scheduling interviews during the work day friday i'm getting anxious about how school will work with my work schedule. blehhhh.


helpful infographic

i was actually going to take a day off next week to work on my final, but since i have to deal with my tooth today i don't think i'll be able to do that. ugh. at least brooke gets here thursday- brooke is one of my favorite people on planet earth and i cannot believeeeeee she's actually going to be here ! everyone, we have to do a good job of selling philly to her so she moves here. everyone be great ! independence hall, be historic ! ben franklin museum, be charming but janky ! liberty bell, stay cracked ! christina, be weird ! mouse, don't wear short shorts ! we have to make this perfect so brooke (and also julz- julz doesn't know me yet but i'm putting her in my poké ball too) moves here.



what else? no real plans this weekend, which is okay with me. tonight i'm probably going to work on my homework so i don't waste a whole day doing it tomorrow, and then saturday i'm probably going to work on my craft swap project. on sunday mouse and i are going to go do a thing but we don't know what yet !

to-do list for the weekend
- german essay
- misc. german homework
- history essay (i'm actually DONE with the reading for the week already !)
- supplemental history reading
- work on craft swap thing
- read m is for magic
- catch up on sleep

i guess most of that sounds pretty boring, but i promise that next week will be cooler.

p.s. fuck teeth.

i hear the mermaids singing, each to each

hey buddies. right now i'm uncomfortable because my dress keeps riding up and my butt is touching my chair. at least this makes it very funny when other people sit at my desk.

my week is a little bit more calm now- i've done all my major assignments until after class tonight so i can have a day of relaxation... at work. i'm KIND OF getting the hang of the cases because of a helpful comment left on my blog last night, but i'm going to have to make myself a cheat sheet for the future. last night we learned how to say things in past tense. one thing that was making me uncomfortable is that we had to watch and answer questions about this song, "ich bin nackt," and one of the lines is basically "my neighbor sees my tits" and our professor keptttttttt asking us, "what does her neighbor see???"



after class, i somehow persuaded paul to kill attumen with me in karazhan, despite the fact that he hatesssssssss doing that stuff. i've never really done kara, but i do attumen every week to try to get his mount.



after that we messed around in there a little to see what other bosses we could kill- we killed the lady who is kind of like freya and consecrates all the time, some rich guy having a dinner party, and romulo and julianne. one part of kara is an opera house, and you have a chance of getting one of three 'plays' as a fight- big bad wolf, wizard of oz, or romeo and juliet. that fight was pretty funny and romantic- the spells julianne casts are eternal affection, powerful attraction, blinding passion, and devotion.



then i played resident evil 5 with ken ! unfortunately, his headset was messing up or something so i couldn't hear him, so we just gave up halfway through- it was really scary though, we had to go through a mine with only a little bit of light and there were gross zombies everywhere. we also ran into the aforementioned irving, but he was whisked away by a lady in a cape (cathy????). it was okay, but the best part of playing games with ken is talking to him so i gave up.



i understand that listening to other people talk about video games is boring but yesterday was the first time in a few days that i've been able to zone out and do stupid shit instead of concentrating on school or work ! no court would convict me !

oh, i pre-ordered mockingjay, the next (and purportedly last?) book in the hunger games series. i was so so so utterly disappointed by catching fire though that my expectations are pretty low. if you haven't read the books, they're about a bleak future where the US is separated into impoverished districts based on production of goods, by a tyrannical oppressive government. to keep the people in line and entertain the rich people in the capitol, two kids from each district are chosen in a lottery every year to fight to the death on live tv.



i LOVED the hunger games- totally bleak and suspenseful with a strong female heroine, unflinching portrayal of poverty, love, mental illness, having to MURDER people, etc. totally gory and disgusting and brutal at times and tender and sweet at other times. i seriously loved every minute of it, except for the wolves, which were somehow bad CGI even though it was a book and not a movie? but the sequel, catching fire, was dull and full of romance in comparison. like, there were zero doubts about who would live or die and too many boring scenes hanging out in the capitol eating food.

don't get me wrong, it was still a decent book, but nothing to write a whole blog thing about ! but, yeah, i have my reservations about mockingjay, but i'm curious to see how the story turns out, and it was only $9 with free shipping.

i don't have a history lesson for you guys today. i hope you aren't too disappointed !

p.s. i decided to get a mary wollstonecraft tattoo

i want you to know what love is

blehhh ! i have so much school stuff to do ! blehhh !!!!

what's up guys? i haven't really done much the past couple of days besides go to class and do my homework. german is actually getting pretty hard because i cannot make my brain understand the difference between the cases. like, i know what to DO for each case, but i don't know how to tell if something is nominative/dative/accusative. i give up. history is okay, despite two weeks of group work where i got grouped with the same dude who is like... intent on denying the contribution of women to american history and talking about how our female professor is WRONG and the female writers are WRONG.


in the words of mary wollstonecraft, "fuck you, ballbag !"

i have german homework every night this week and next week, a big german essay to write, a german voice presentation (which is basically just reading the essay), a german interview with someone who isn't my professor, and a final exam. for history, i have to answer a discussion question TODAY, watch the lectures, do the reading, do one more timeline essay, do some more little online questions, and then do a final exam. i'm totally fucking swamped and i'm procrastinating like crazy !

last night while doing some reading, i actually got choked up because i hate andrew jackson so much, so today's (very brief, cause i have studying to do) lesson is about how andrew jackson is the fucking worst.



you may know him as the $20 bill guy, or maybe OLD HICKORY, but what you should really associate andrew jackson with is the indian removal act and the trail of tears (a genocidal relocation of native peoples so we could take their shit, in case you missed middle school history). during the war of 1812 he killed a shit ton of native americans, and during the first seminole war he went into spanish territory and killed a shit ton more of native americans (which is significant because it was totally illegal and fucked up). he then went on to basically be the forerunner of anti-intellectualism in the united states who fiercely defended the idea that his racist hunches were better and righter and more noble than fancy book learning. and um, here is a quote from his first state of the union address that is one of the grossest things i've ever read:

What good man would prefer a country covered with forests and ranged by a few thousand savages to our extensive Republic, studded with cities, towns, and prosperous farms, embellished with all the improvements which art can devise or industry execute, occupied by more than 12,000,000 happy people, and filled with all the blessings of liberty, civilization, and religion?

blehh. i fucking hate him ! why is he on money ! why do ATMs only give $20 bills ! here's what i'm using instead of $20s now:



um, on a lighter note, that beautiful dress i got fit perfectly and looked great on me and is my favorite thing ever



and it comes in several other beautiful colors that would look great on me:



but i'm not sure what to do about my most recent ethical quandry about target. like, most of us have pretended that target is better than walmart because they are like 20% less soulsucking, community-destroying, and unethical, plus they have cuter stuff. it's cool, i'm not perfect, this is an inconsistency on my part and i probably should do more than half-heartedly acknowledge it. recently, though, the store donated $150,000 to a political candidate who is homophobic and aggressively supports homophobic legislation, as well being affiliated with a band who supports the violent extermination of gay people (and um, see above for my feelings about violent exterminations of people).



here's the rub, though: target is one of two clothing stores that sell clothes in my size. there are a handful more that sell plus size clothing, but most are $30-$100 a piece, whereas most clothing at target (and the other store, old navy) is below $30. they also have reasonably cute clothing, an extreme rarity for plus size women, who very rarely get the opportunity to feel comfortable and attractive and cute in clothing, with target's clothing being slightly more well-made (presumably because their child workforce is more disciplined? i hate life). but, that brings me to another point- why is it important for me to look or dress cute? why do i care about that? i know why i SHOULDN'T, so why do i?

anyway, i don't know what i'm getting at here. if i look at this like cute dresses vs. being an ally for my fellow human beings, the choice is easy. if i bring in a bunch of other complicated stuff about being fat/plus size clothing/socialization/consumption, it seems slightly more complicated. i guess my conclusion for now is that you should throw red paint on me if i end up buying those dresses, but i'm going to try not to.

tell her it's over

buhhhh work is annoying. i came in ready to tackle both school work and work work for the day, only to find that i have to help label 900 t-shirts for some stupid thing. i spent all morning so far opening and lifting boxes and i inexplicably only have deodorant on one pit.

my weekend was good though ! on friday, i stayed in to try to get some work done. i had my german class interview and got a 45/50 ! i currently have an A- in the class, so i need to try harder to solidify my chances of getting an A. i really, really, truly don't think i got anything else done though. i did some knitting and watched goodbye lenin.



the movie is about a set of siblings (one being daniel bruhllllll) whose mother, a loyal socialist lady, has a heart attack and goes into a coma during the fall of the berlin wall. when she wakes up, she can't suffer any kind of shock (lest she have another heart attack), so her son persuades everyone to put on an elaborate farce where none of this happened. it was a pretty cute movie, but i can't imagine that it would be interesting if you don't know anything about german history? like a lot of the cuteness and jokes hinge upon events in history and stuff !

on saturdayyyyyy i went to the green line to theoretically work on my paper. i stopped at a garage sale on the way to buy myself this:



both jesse and eric were working, so unfortunately i didn't get much work done. i haven't really talked to eric in a few years so it was good to see him ! also jesse is the funniest most interesting person. she told me some good jokes (not fit for the internet) and showed me some cool maps of holes in the ground ! after awhile, though, i gave up and went to cvs and impulse bought a bunch of pens


two packs of these

they were buy one get one free !! between the hydra and the pens i spent $5, but i'm trying to be more critical of my consumption and not spend that $20-40/mo on stupid stuff ! i finally finsihed my paper at 5:20 (it's due at 6) and showered and got ready to go to shakespeare in clark park with mouse. but guys ! surprise guest ! benji was at mouse's for a jiu jitsu lesson and he came with us. i was super happy to hang out with him because he's the funniest handsomest, and also cause mouse wanted to watch the play and wouldn't let me talk to him but benji would.





oh yeah, the play was a midsummer night's dream, which is actually my least favorite shakespeare play. i also always forget that going to plays doesn't mean a bunch of stuffy british thespians and it usually means drama club people so i'm always a little disappointed (i'm coming around, but it's hard for me to take them seriously because drama club people were LITERALLY the only people lower on the totem pole than gifted nerds !). we sat in a bad place, anyway, and couldn't really hear or see the play. we were right behind a kid eating an entire block of cheese like a candy bar though, which was pretty cool.



benji went home after the play, and we met up with nate at my house and watched futurama. nate declined attending the play cause he remembered what plays are like, but i'm glad i got to see him.

on sunnnnday i slept super late and worked on work stuff and knitted a little bit. i tried to motivate myself to do my history reading but did a pretty awful job. i mostly managed to set up the DVR for shark week (since i'll be too busy with school to watch it) and eat a sandwich. when mouse got out of jiu jitsu, i went to his house because his sister and mom and SCOTTIE were there !!!! scottie is like, the cutest baby in the entire world and his feet are so fat and he made teeny little mouth farts at me.





also, did you guys know that baby spit up is really disgusting? i think baby spit up and drool are like, the deciding factors in me not having kids- unfortunately, this is also the same reason that i will miss out on many beautiful dogs:









(never mind that i also would never buy a dog from a mill or breeder so my chances of having a purebred dog ever are slim anyway !)

we also went to capo giro, where i found out that all of their sorbettis are vegan. i'm so bummed, because we've gone here a thousand times and mouse sadly drinks a decaf americano while we talk about how good the gelato and sorbetti is. i had nectarine and dark chocolate.



after that, i came home and finished my german homework (voice recordings about 'run lola run' !, online exercise, essay) and did some more work work and ended up going to bed before i did my history reading. on my agenda for today: history reading ! and maybe watching one of my history lectures after lunch.

what's up, guys? this is already week five of my six weeks of classes ! it went by super fast. i hope i can hold it together enough to do well in both.

p.s. i want a coffee milkshake more than anything on earth right now?
p.p.s. dogs dogs dogs dogs
p.p.p.s. brooke is coming to visit me aug 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.p.p.p.s. christina is home from maine !!!!

let us go then, you and i

blehhhh stressed ! last night i had class, which was okay- the discussion in history was infuriating at times because one dude, who is like... some 20 year old undergrad, is convinced that the woman who wrote the chapter we had to read was totally wrong about what she wrote even though it's something he never researched (it was about political roles and actions of women post-constitution when they didn't have the right to vote or run for office). he was like, "no, women didn't do ANYTHING, the author is WRONG, women didn't do ANYTHING." and he harped on it for the whole class.


to be honest, this is exactly what i visualized when i searched for "wind bag"

then i had german, which was okay despite missing a class- i had to look at my notes a lot. and speaking of that, the covers fell off of both of my notebooks. despite being messy and apathetic about most stuff, i really hate when my school supplies get messed up. it's like the lamest control issue of all time- i don't like having pens that are low on ink, unsharpened pencils, crinkly papers, etc. i have three boxes of crayons that have never been used because i can't figure out how to use 96 colors evenly.



by the way, the crayon thing isn't part of my stupid peewee herman adult child thing, but part of my lifelong interest in having lots of little things in different colors.

normally i'd be able to relax a little bit right now, but i have a big project to finish for work today which i'm pretty sure i won't be able to get done, and after work i have a german interview. i'm pretty nervous- i'm having trouble with some of the articles. learning another language has taught me a lot about what i DON'T know about english- like, when he talks about using stuff in the dative/nominative/accusative/etc. i actually have no fucking clue what that means and just guess. i should probably look it up. whatever, i'm a product of the florida public school system !



after my german interview, i may go see mouse's band in fishtown, depending on whether or not he wants to give me a ride (it's easy to get to on the el, but taking the el at night alone makes me nervous because i've been followed/jerked off at). i should actually stay home and do homework but i like hanging out with mouse and i haven't seen the rest of the dangerbirds in awhile ! on saturday, mouse, nate, and i are possibly going to watch 'a midsummer night's dream' in clark park and eat food? and i'm not sure what i said i'd do on sunday, but i haveeeee to do my history reading.

oh yeah. my application for school won't be processed til they have my summer grades, and my semester doesn't end til 08/13. boooooooooooooooooooooo.

today's founding father is benjamin rush, notable philadelphian and doctor who is sort of like the andrea zuckerman of founding fathers. he was super smart and accomplished but his role in history is like, a lame background character who appears to move other character's development along.



he is best known for encouraging john adams and thomas jefferson to reconcile their bitter fued. totally more important than pioneering in mental health and the study of addiction, his bold commitment to abolition, founding dickinson college, representing pennsylvania at the continental congress, and inventing dr. rush's bilious pills (mostly mercury, but they were a wonder for the humors !)- jefferson and adams NEVER would've gotten back together if it wasn't for benjamin rush !

to-do list for the weekend
- german interview
- german blog essay
- german voice postings
- history essay
- history reading
- clean bedroom
- read m is for magic
- do the work i've been slacking off on from work

p.s. my humors are pretty bilious today
p.p.s. brooke is coming to visit NEXT MONTH !!!!